First Goat of the New Year

posted December 18, 2012 8:54 AM | |

Wed January 2 at 5:30 PM, Billy Goat Tavern

430 North Michigan Avenue, Chicago, IL, USA (Map & Directions)

I am so happy that paynepile has a place in our tags.

Show some love to the Payne Pile.
posted by phunniemee at 10:00 AM on December 18, 2012

Also, I would like to say: PORTLAND, WE ARE COMING FOR YOU. Go confirm those RMDH meetups, garlic!
posted by phunniemee at 10:01 AM on December 18, 2012

Hyde Park is confirmed. Waiting on more interest at Streeterville before confirming.
posted by garlic at 10:30 AM on December 18, 2012

Has anyone ever counted the Payne Pile? How does our average Payne Pile compare to our average ultimate Table Tab?
posted by crush-onastick at 11:14 AM on December 18, 2012

IF YOU HAVE ANY INFORMATION PLEASE CALL
posted by phunniemee at 12:31 PM on December 18, 2012 [5 favorites]

First goat.

Furgoat.
posted by Evilspork at 12:40 AM on December 19, 2012

This is the actual one where I get my crown, yes?
posted by shakespeherian at 5:03 AM on December 19, 2012 [1 favorite]

The first few times I looked at the tag "tidytippiles" I parsed it as "tiny tipples" which both 1) sounds like something dirty and 2) is mostly synonymous with tiny beers.

Basically what I'm saying is that tag works on multiple levels.
posted by phunniemee at 8:28 AM on December 20, 2012

Philadelphia evil goating
posted by garlic at 10:19 PM on December 20, 2012

In searching for songs to buy that eamondaly sings at karaoke, I came across sexy and I know it again, which reminded me of this piece of awesomeness.
posted by garlic at 2:37 PM on December 22, 2012 [1 favorite]

Jesus. That picture of me suggests I may well be "missing" because I look rabid so they took me behind the barn.
posted by SpiffyRob at 4:27 AM on December 24, 2012 [1 favorite]

Like seriously, did you draw kabuki eyebrows on me? What the hell, Rob.
posted by SpiffyRob at 4:28 AM on December 24, 2012

I am working in the Loop all goddamned day doing tax preparation training and will be off at 7 and in need of whiskey.
posted by liketitanic at 5:54 AM on December 24, 2012

That picture of me suggests I may well be "missing" because I look rabid so they took me behind the barn.

Old Spiffer
posted by adamdschneider at 8:29 AM on December 27, 2012 [1 favorite]

What does one wear to an evil coronation?
posted by shakespeherian at 3:02 PM on December 28, 2012

A goatee.
posted by phunniemee at 4:18 PM on December 28, 2012

Quick someone grow a goatee and lend it to me.
posted by shakespeherian at 4:37 PM on December 28, 2012

perhaps eamondaly can loan you the portion of his beard that would make up a goatee? Or maybe he saved the hair from when he shaved for just such an occasion.
posted by garlic at 1:32 PM on December 30, 2012

Or a frogtee... nothing screams nefariouis monarch like a face full of herps.
posted by Cold Lurkey at 4:03 PM on December 31, 2012

I can't miss this grand opportunity to (a) try and remember everyone's MeFi names as introduced weeks ago, and (b) show up already drunk from a coworker's going away party and thus (c) do even more awful karaoke. I'm in.
posted by sldownard at 9:40 PM on December 31, 2012 [1 favorite]

I bet you don't remember my MeFi username.
posted by shakespeherian at 11:51 PM on December 31, 2012

Well, you'll have a crown on, which is kind of cheating.
posted by sldownard at 6:54 AM on January 1

I will be heading home immediately after work for doggy-care. I intend to head back downtown and at least make it to the Frog, but no promises once inertia sets in.
posted by misskaz at 7:12 AM on January 2

Same is true for me but replace doggy-care with sick partner-care and inertia with more inertia. Also insert a 'maybe' in me going home at all because with people you can call them and see how they are feeling.
posted by MCMikeNamara at 8:00 AM on January 2

Well I'm totes gonna be there at the Goat but I will probably not make the Frog (as per my usual). Maybe I'll just drink tiny beers by myself, bah.
posted by shakespeherian at 8:05 AM on January 2

I'll be at the Goat! But only for a short time. I'll make sure to sit at a different table from you, shakes, so you can still drink alone.
posted by phunniemee at 9:11 AM on January 2

Thank god!
posted by shakespeherian at 9:26 AM on January 2

I should really pay attention to things online more regularly. If this weren't a consistent meetup, I would have totally forgotten. But then I would have had an excuse to keep the crown.

Does anyone have a velvet pillow? I wanted to present it on one for the evil coronation, but haven't had any luck finding it...
posted by BevosAngryGhost at 9:49 AM on January 2

Bevos it's like velvet pillow warehouse where I am right now. I'll totally bring one with me.
posted by SpiffyRob at 10:16 AM on January 2

Did you guys just here something? like the rustling of cheeseburger-wrappers-past? Or the echo of tiny beers being two-fisted?
posted by garlic at 10:29 AM on January 2

A spectre is haunting the thread-- the spectre of Osama Bun Ladin.
posted by shakespeherian at 10:38 AM on January 2

Oh, really? I didn't know they had velvet pillows in hell. I thought they were all wool. Itchy, itchy wool.
posted by BevosAngryGhost at 10:58 AM on January 2

hell of spooky
posted by zombiestripperjesuscat at 11:22 AM on January 2

You passed up an opportunity to use the word "hella". You are a bad person.
posted by phunniemee at 11:42 AM on January 2

And you should feel bad etc, etc.
posted by phunniemee at 11:42 AM on January 2

i am not a person and that's before we even get into your value judgements
posted by zombiestripperjesuscat at 11:45 AM on January 2

misskaz, you are not going to want to miss these pants.
posted by eamondaly at 12:17 PM on January 2

Please let the next word you type be Zubaz.
posted by shakespeherian at 12:19 PM on January 2

Are you wearing your fancyman version of Pajama Jeans today?
posted by phunniemee at 12:33 PM on January 2

Ah, hell. I just realized I forgot to bring my big bag of hair.
posted by eamondaly at 12:38 PM on January 2

Eamon it's like big bag of hair warehouse where I am right now. I'll totally bring one with me.
posted by SpiffyRob at 1:04 PM on January 2 [1 favorite]

THE WHOLE CORONATION IS RUINED!

the hole coronation however, will proceed as planned.
posted by garlic at 1:08 PM on January 2

If I do a Google image search for "big bag of hair warehouse", the first result is a weird shot of Meryl Streep as Margaret Thatcher. Even though he has passed on, SpiffyRob brings me joy on Meetup Wednesdays.
posted by MCMikeNamara at 1:09 PM on January 2

Special pants, hole coronations, margaret thatcher, and bags of hair.

This will either be the best or the scariest goat ever.
posted by phunniemee at 1:18 PM on January 2

Sounds pretty typical actually.
posted by shakespeherian at 1:27 PM on January 2

Does it have to be a particular big bag of hair... or will any old big bag of hair do?
posted by Cold Lurkey at 1:56 PM on January 2

I left my bag of hair at home today.

Thanks to Truman*, I actually am currently in possession of a bag of hair. I stripped the puppy yesterday, and groomed out probably three quarters of a gallon volume-wise of fur. Still haven't taken out the trash.


*See also: teeth, Jar of.
posted by phunniemee at 2:14 PM on January 2

phunniemee: "This will either be the best or the scariest goat ever."

And I'm bringing hot pepper jelly thumbprint cookies!

Plus regular jelly cookies.
posted by hydrophonic at 2:25 PM on January 2

I've got a big bag of Hair!

Specifically, a pillowcase full of cassette copies of the original Broadway cast recording of Hair. I've been trying to move 'em for ages, but no one on eBay seems interested in the song stylings of the young Diane Keaton.
posted by Iridic at 2:28 PM on January 2

OH MY GOD IRIDIC WILL YOU ACTUALLY BE AT A GOAT?!?!
posted by phunniemee at 2:31 PM on January 2

TCC: a pillowcase full of cassette copies of the original Broadway cast recording of Hair.
posted by adamdschneider at 2:35 PM on January 2 [1 favorite]

I have pretty much stopped believing in Iridic. He is almost mythic at this point.
posted by shakespeherian at 2:46 PM on January 2

I'm on my way. Anyone there yet? garlic?
posted by shakespeherian at 3:08 PM on January 2

Night school does sometimes feel like being chained to a cold crag while eagles feast on my ever-renewed liver. But all that's on Mondays and Tuesdays this semester, so I should be good to Goat until June.
posted by Iridic at 3:09 PM on January 2

give me a bag of hair / long beautiful hair / shining, gleaming, / streaming, flaxen, waxen


I may or may not have been singing this in the bathroom right now. I may or may not have been caught by someone who I didn't realize was in the stall. (Fortunately, it is someone whose opinion I may or may not give a damn about.)
posted by MCMikeNamara at 3:28 PM on January 2 [1 favorite]

(on another note, I'm on my way to the Goat)
posted by MCMikeNamara at 3:28 PM on January 2

I will stop reading an article about the creation of The Blues Brothers in the middle, and leave for the Goat just for you guys. I hope you feel special.
posted by BevosAngryGhost at 3:34 PM on January 2 [1 favorite]

So uh, I'm at the billy goat at well/van buren. Unless all of you are men in your 60s, I think I'm at the wrong location.. halp
posted by deathpanels at 4:14 PM on January 2

Well if you see a pale kid with short hair in a giant oversized olive green down coat awkwardly asking drunk older men if they're from metafilter, say hi
posted by deathpanels at 4:19 PM on January 2 [1 favorite]

Yes, that's the wrong one. You want the one on 430 North Michigan, downstairs.
posted by Evilspork at 4:22 PM on January 2

Also I won't be making it tonight, the back says no.
posted by Evilspork at 4:22 PM on January 2

Someone is playing bluegrass. Gonna hide in a lavie tidhar novel.
posted by deathpanels at 4:23 PM on January 2

Oh crap. Didnnt realize there were many locations. Okay. Will make the long treck north! BTW I look like an overgrown teenager, am wearing aforementioned oversized green coat and carrying brown leather bag. Is there a sign or something?
posted by deathpanels at 4:26 PM on January 2

Alas, didn't find any willing hairy persons to shear today. So, unless someone else brought a big bag of hair, I think I'll skip this one.
posted by Cold Lurkey at 5:32 PM on January 2

You guys wanna Google Hangout me in to say hi? I'm in bed and shirtless!
posted by SpiffyRob at 6:35 PM on January 2

And shirtless means a LOT of visible hair. My chest and bottom 1/3rd of my back are way hairier than you'd expect.
posted by SpiffyRob at 6:36 PM on January 2 [1 favorite]

Why doesn't MTV show videos anymore?
posted by eamondaly at 6:56 PM on January 2 [3 favorites]

I was supposed to be a yes for this, but I'm an accountant and it's the end of a fiscal year and I don't know what I was thinking. In fact, I don't think I can think anymore, I'm so tired. Bags of hair and fun pants and crowns? You guys drive a hard bargain, but I have to go home. If I can muster enough energy to get from my office to my apartment. Maybe we can do some sort of mid-month thing. Maybe in a week or so things will have calmed down enough that my brain stops hating me - at least that's what I assume this headache means.

Does any of that make sense? I'm not sure. I need sleeeeeppppp.......
posted by youngergirl44 at 7:39 PM on January 2 [1 favorite]

Well who could resist an invitation like that.
posted by adamdschneider at 7:51 PM on January 2

So hopefully I will someday see you guys again. Maybe next month! Or maybe not for 18 years.
posted by shakespeherian at 8:02 PM on January 2 [1 favorite]

Bring the little squirt. We can christen him by breaking a tiny beer over his hull.

Or her hull.
posted by phunniemee at 8:08 PM on January 2 [1 favorite]

Or its hull.
posted by shakespeherian at 8:29 PM on January 2

Bevos: Everyday Tastes from High-brow to Low-brow are Classified on Chart
posted by hydrophonic at 8:29 PM on January 2 [1 favorite]

Here is the proposed meetup this Saturday by a visiting Mefite.
posted by hydrophonic at 8:34 PM on January 2 [1 favorite]

One, deathpanels is killing karaoke right now; and two, youngergirl is going to go crazy over his song selection.
posted by eamondaly at 9:21 PM on January 2 [2 favorites]

speaking of proposing meetups, it sounds like we should get together for poutine at badhappy sometime. Since Bevos has never been, he should pick a weekend he's available and we'll go from there.

Also, eamondaly's pants were amazing.
posted by garlic at 11:15 PM on January 2 [1 favorite]

also, pants
pants and coat
posted by garlic at 5:31 AM on January 3 [1 favorite]

BadHappy is delicious. Please don't pick the last weekend of January, Beev.
posted by adamdschneider at 5:38 AM on January 3

hydrophonic: I assigned 1-4 point values to your chart and went through it to find out what I am. Apparently I am middle-middle brow.

Bevos: I EXIST. MIDDLE BROW IS A THING. HA.
posted by phunniemee at 5:55 AM on January 3

What was your rubric for the point values? I MUST DEFINE MYSELF
posted by shakespeherian at 6:35 AM on January 3

4 points for high down to 1 point for low. Add them up, divide by however many things there are. I was a solid 2.5. I was saved by salads, board games, and sculpture.
posted by phunniemee at 6:49 AM on January 3

2.73-ish, I think? I read all of those things so I do not know how to classify that.
posted by shakespeherian at 7:13 AM on January 3

I think a certain amount of fudging is necessary. For instance, chocolate milk was listed nowhere on the list of beverage preferences. I had to make do.
posted by phunniemee at 7:18 AM on January 3

Also the Upper Middle-Brow preferred game being The Game makes me assume that all Upper Middle-Brow people are PUAs.
posted by shakespeherian at 7:30 AM on January 3

Yeah, what is that? Charades? Because what it looks like is a dude pretending to be a kid with rickets.
posted by phunniemee at 7:46 AM on January 3

I'm surprised there isn't a Sports column.

HIGH-BROW: Polo

UPPER MIDDLE-BROW: Tennis

LOWER MIDDLE-BROW: Baseball

LOW-BROW: Pig fucking
posted by shakespeherian at 8:20 AM on January 3 [1 favorite]

Not dwarf tossing? Or ferret legging? I mean, do they even show pig fucking on ESPN? Probably not a sport.
posted by phunniemee at 8:40 AM on January 3 [1 favorite]

Maybe not in your bourgeois ivory tower.
posted by shakespeherian at 8:53 AM on January 3 [1 favorite]

HB: Billy Goat (lower Michigan)
UMB: Billy Goat (Merchandise Mart)
LMB: Billy Goat (South Wells)
LB: Billy Goat (Navy Pier)
posted by Iridic at 9:51 AM on January 3 [1 favorite]

I thought we agreed to never speak of the Navy Pier Goat again.
posted by adamdschneider at 10:01 AM on January 3 [1 favorite]

The one in DC is so low-brow it's a mustache.
posted by SpiffyRob at 10:04 AM on January 3

So you know what would be funny? If someone took a cab home sometime later than planned and realized once he got through the (left open) front door of his apartment building and tromped up the stairs that he didn't have his keys. And knocking on the door didn't wake his partner. And his cell phone was dead. That would be so funny.

Especially if, even after getting it charged (yay for weird hallway outlets), the phone still didn't wake up his partner. And neither did the text messages saying I'd wait outside until he found me.

On a related note, my winter jacket (which I'd switched too yesterday, leaving my keys in another) and a stocking cap make a very comfortable pillow for the two hours until you are woken up in the hallway.

Decidedly low brow end to the evening.

Happy 2013 everybody.
posted by MCMikeNamara at 11:18 AM on January 3 [1 favorite]

Speaking of cultural ignorance, I was under the impression that poutine was something else. I'm not sure what I thought it was but, despite all your hype, I thought it was something I wouldn't like.

However, looking at the Wikipedia entry alone, it is clear that I have never been more wrong in my life. I'm on board for an excursion to BadHappy -- though I may just have to go there right now.
posted by MCMikeNamara at 11:23 AM on January 3

Mike that is the point at which you come back to the Goat and I inform you that you can crash on my couch.
posted by shakespeherian at 11:50 AM on January 3

Mike that is the point at which you go back to the Goat and say hey does anybody have Jen's phone number and then almost everybody says no and then you call me but I'm already asleep because I'm 80 years old apparently but you decide to come to my apartment and break in and crash on my couch and I am cool with it anyway because damn dude I can't believe you slept in the hallway. :(
posted by phunniemee at 12:37 PM on January 3

And now you know.
posted by phunniemee at 12:38 PM on January 3

Personally, I blame SpiffyRob.
posted by shakespeherian at 12:50 PM on January 3

Sound reasoning.
posted by phunniemee at 1:24 PM on January 3

If I chop off all of your foreheads out of vindictive spite, what brow are you then? HUH?!
posted by BevosAngryGhost at 1:24 PM on January 3

Also, you should all come to the previously mentioned visiting MeFite hang at The Hopleaf on Saturday. I'll try to be less lame than last night. Sorry Eamon. Our brief dance was a beautiful thing, though.
posted by BevosAngryGhost at 1:27 PM on January 3

If brief dance means what I think it does, it means Eamon took off his pants to do it. And that's really not okay with me.

Also, 100% my bad on the whole Mike being locked out of his place thing. It is a bad, and it is my bad.
posted by SpiffyRob at 1:33 PM on January 3

Serious thanks for the offers. I did think about going back to the Frog - or going to a more local bar and hanging out for a bit. But honestly, I was so tired that the hallway, as trashy as it sounds, was quite fine.

And, to be clearer, the stairs up to the hallway are private and only lead to doors that eventually lead to our apartment, so it wasn't like neighbors were going to be stepping over me. We actually used to have a chair out there for people to sit to take off their boots/shoes, but had recently moved it, which I was glad about because it made it easier for me to lie down, even if sleeping in a chair would have been the more lower middle brow option.

Speaking of, the history of the term "Middlebrow" is actually really interesting.
posted by MCMikeNamara at 1:48 PM on January 3

Mike you don't have to apologize for Spiffy.
posted by shakespeherian at 1:59 PM on January 3

Speaking of blaming Spiffy for stuff, did somebody leave a message next to the urinal at the Goat? (picture entirely SFW)

I noticed this last month and didn't say anything but then when it was still there this month, I wondered.and didn't say anything but then when it was still there this month, I wondered.
posted by MCMikeNamara at 2:09 PM on January 3

That picture is only SFW if you have terrible taste in cities.
And punctuation.
posted by phunniemee at 2:36 PM on January 3

One more thing:

So those few who made it to the Frog may remember the guy from the horror movie showing before karaoke last night. The one I called "the poor man's Robert Patinson." His name is apparently Shiloh Fernandez and here's this tidbit from his Wikipedia page, which I swear I didn't just add:

In 2008, Fernandez became one of the front-runners to play Edward Cullen after he auditioned for Catherine Hardwicke in her Venice Beach garage, during the casting of Twilight. Fernandez was allegedly Hardwicke’s first choice, but it was up to Kristen Stewart who had the last say.

Just when you thought that director's wife was the person who had a reason to dislike Kristen Stewart most.
posted by MCMikeNamara at 2:50 PM on January 3

Shiloh Fernandez is one of those names that happens when you put a bunch of slips of paper with random words on them into a bucket and pick a few out.
posted by phunniemee at 2:59 PM on January 3

I cannot take credit for that beautiful grafito.
posted by SpiffyRob at 5:33 PM on January 3

I am disappointed but suppose I'm glad to know you aren't a vandal.
posted by MCMikeNamara at 7:46 AM on January 4

Oh good we don't have to have the 'where did we go wrong' talk with his parents.
posted by shakespeherian at 7:52 AM on January 4

Almost certainly a talk worth having, regardless.
posted by SpiffyRob at 10:38 AM on January 4

I will fully cop to a single grafito in my entire life: Sophomore year of high school, I totally wrote

"FUCK THE KING OF BEERS. THIS BUD'S FOR YOU!"

over top of one of the urinals.

What a cool guy.
posted by SpiffyRob at 10:40 AM on January 4 [1 favorite]

I engage in grafitery with relative frequency...maybe once every few months or so? Less often since I got a new book bag that lacks convenient sharpie storage.

99% of my work is correcting grammar mistakes on racist extant graffiti.
posted by phunniemee at 10:55 AM on January 4

eh writes graphitti and doesn't afraid of anything
posted by adamdschneider at 11:06 AM on January 4

99% of my work is correcting grammar mistakes on racist extant graffiti.

People called Romanes, they go, the house?
posted by shakespeherian at 11:31 AM on January 4

Garlic: BadHappy meetup on Jan 26?
posted by BevosAngryGhost at 7:13 AM on January 8

FOOL
posted by adamdschneider at 7:24 AM on January 8

BABY SHAKES BABY SHAKES BABY SHAKES
posted by SpiffyRob at 1:56 PM on January 8

Damnit you guys I had this whole thing planned for my 2000th favorite but then I put a helpful comment in the titles MeTa and got 20 favorites for it and everything is RUINED.

And I have to take the commuter rail out of the city to go to my first meetup next week and it's gonna have good beers instead of tiny ones that taste like dirt and there's a baby shakes and everything is changing SO FAST.
posted by SpiffyRob at 10:25 AM on January 9