WHO RUN FLAVORTOWN?
posted November 14, 2012 12:07 PM   RSS | iCal | +googleCal

Sun December 9 at 2:00 PM, Guy's American Kitchen and Bar
220 W 44th St, New York, NY, USA (Map & Directions)
It has been suggested that the NYC MeFites take a trip to Guy Fieri's American Kitchen & Bar. It is in Times Square, the food is bad, and the prices are outrageous. Who's in?
posted by griphus to Meetup (382 comments total) 10 users marked this as a favorite

I'll give this thing 24-hrs before we start working on a time/date.
posted by griphus at 12:28 PM on November 14, 2012


I'd consider it.

How outrageous?

Also, since he's a celebrity chef, how long is the wait for reservations?
posted by zarq at 12:40 PM on November 14, 2012


I mean, are we talking Alain Ducasse outrageous?
posted by zarq at 12:40 PM on November 14, 2012


Menu. Prices aren't bad for NYC. And they have rice pudding. It's hard to screw up rice pudding.
posted by zarq at 12:43 PM on November 14, 2012


It's tourist-expensive, not like expensive-expensive. Here's the menu.

Also, zarq, I owe you a drink from some thread from a long, long time ago.
posted by griphus at 12:44 PM on November 14, 2012


To . . . firebomb it? This just sounds horrible. I mean obviously I will solve my issue by just not coming, but I can't help gawp in this thread.
posted by grobstein at 12:48 PM on November 14, 2012


Oh that's so weird. TPS, Cunning linguist and I were just talking about going there on facebook yesterday.
posted by gaspode at 12:52 PM on November 14, 2012


This just sounds horrible.

Yes, just to make things absolutely clear, we will be going to the most annoying part of New York City to spend our hard-earned dollars on overpriced, poorly-conceived menu items that Carolus Linnaeus would classify as Shitty.
posted by griphus at 12:54 PM on November 14, 2012 [3 favorites]


I am cautiously interested.
posted by EmpressCallipygos at 1:01 PM on November 14, 2012


you are the worst person ever griphus

you have stolen shakespeherian's evil crown
posted by elizardbits at 1:29 PM on November 14, 2012 [2 favorites]


oh look a romaine salad named after weed for $17
posted by elizardbits at 1:32 PM on November 14, 2012 [5 favorites]


Let me clarify: we were talking about going there to enjoy the horror in its full glory.
posted by gaspode at 1:51 PM on November 14, 2012


And to relate the horror for the amusement of the rest of us on this site, I can't emphasize that part enough.
posted by Holy Zarquon's Singing Fish at 2:07 PM on November 14, 2012 [4 favorites]


i no longer do the kinds of drugs that would make this fun, though
posted by elizardbits at 2:43 PM on November 14, 2012 [4 favorites]


john mcafee disagrees
posted by elizardbits at 3:00 PM on November 14, 2012 [2 favorites]


I love you guys and all, but Times Square?
posted by computech_apolloniajames at 3:01 PM on November 14, 2012


I will pray for all of your souls. Or stomachs and tastebuds. Whichever.
posted by loriginedumonde at 3:10 PM on November 14, 2012


All of this is Guy Fieri's fault.

All. Of. This.
posted by griphus at 3:10 PM on November 14, 2012 [1 favorite]


griphus: " Also, zarq, I owe you a drink from some thread from a long, long time ago."

I don't remember that, but woo!

Perhaps alcohol will deaden my taste buds enough to enjoy the food! :D
posted by zarq at 3:10 PM on November 14, 2012


On the night of the meetup, at 7:23pm, seven nearly-identical questions will be posted at once.

"Urgent. I'm at a restaurant in Times Square. Tell me hive mind, Should I Eat This?"
posted by zarq at 3:15 PM on November 14, 2012 [8 favorites]


If this happens any time in or around Thanksgiving weekend, I'm in. I'll be visiting NYC then and this sounds like too epic an experience to pass up.
posted by sheprime at 5:38 PM on November 14, 2012


I'd be down for this. Haven't been to a meet up in a while and this might be either the best way to make a meet up return, or I end up hating everyone for even suggesting this as an "experience" and never come to a meet up again.
posted by kkokkodalk at 6:10 PM on November 14, 2012


I hate him, I hate him, I hate him, I hate him, and I will come to this if it happens.
posted by mintcake! at 7:26 PM on November 14, 2012 [1 favorite]


I can't wait to get a headcount on this.

"Hello, Guy's American Kitchen and Bar? Reservation for ten please."
"May I ask why?"
posted by griphus at 8:00 PM on November 14, 2012 [8 favorites]


I don't understand giving money to someone you loathe. Money doesn't have a sense of irony.
posted by Eideteker at 3:06 AM on November 15, 2012 [1 favorite]


Or is the goal to prove you can be a more contemptible person than Fieri?
posted by Eideteker at 3:09 AM on November 15, 2012 [1 favorite]


It's the same reasoning behind boxing a kangaroo. Obviously I'm in for either one.
posted by Potomac Avenue at 3:24 AM on November 15, 2012


I'm in for a maybe.
posted by TrishaLynn at 3:57 AM on November 15, 2012


Or is the goal to prove you can be a more contemptible person than Fieri?

That is it exactly, yes.
posted by griphus at 4:07 AM on November 15, 2012 [7 favorites]


Oh god. I'm down. I have to do this.
posted by whitneyarner at 4:28 AM on November 15, 2012


WHERE IS MY CROWN YARGH
posted by shakespeherian at 5:17 AM on November 15, 2012 [1 favorite]


Please confirm whether takeout containers are shaped like pointed goatees
posted by shakespeherian at 5:50 AM on November 15, 2012


People could cope with the pricing by only getting side dishes or appetizers. If I do this I may go just to order dessert - because I am optimistic that it's harder to screw dessert up, but on the other hand if he does I'll be that much angrier and I'll be that much of a bigger foaming rage.
posted by EmpressCallipygos at 6:03 AM on November 15, 2012


If I might comment on this admirable plan from o'er the waves, I would like to respectfully request that you sculpt a part-portion of roasted garlic mash into a likeness of quidnunc kid and treat said fetish-totem as my avatar throughout this meetup. I am prepared to paypal someone $7.50 plus labor and tax for this purpose.
posted by the quidnunc kid at 6:05 AM on November 15, 2012


I'm kinda interested. Because I'm a masochist, you see.
posted by Consonants Without Vowels at 6:14 AM on November 15, 2012


I'm kinda interested. Because I'm a masochist, you see.

No no no, you want the Paddles meetup
posted by modernserf at 7:01 AM on November 15, 2012


I hope you'll match the bill, dollar-for-dollar, in donations to Sandy relief or something. Or really, if you can afford to do that, just give the money to charity and not to some worthless faux celebrity fuck.
posted by Eideteker at 7:03 AM on November 15, 2012 [2 favorites]


wut
posted by shakespeherian at 7:06 AM on November 15, 2012 [1 favorite]


I don't get the irritation at a bunch of friends having fun, sorry.

no wait i'm not sorry at all.
posted by elizardbits at 7:14 AM on November 15, 2012 [2 favorites]


No no no, you want the Paddles meetup

I guarantee that Paddles will be child's play compared to the unholy torture I'll be experiencing after ingesting a plate of Guy-talian Nachos.
posted by Consonants Without Vowels at 7:16 AM on November 15, 2012


Eideteker: "I hope you'll match the bill, dollar-for-dollar, in donations to Sandy relief or something. Or really, if you can afford to do that, just give the money to charity and not to some worthless faux celebrity fuck."

So..... you're in?

I may also be, depending on the timing.
posted by Grither at 7:17 AM on November 15, 2012


I dunno guys. Maybe we should rethink this if Guy Fieri will be there personally showing us to our table, pouring us water, taking our order, cooking our food, serving us our food, cleaning up after us, and then burning the money we give him in front of homeless people. I don't know if that totally accurate scenario of restaurant ownership I just described is something I want to be a part of.
posted by griphus at 7:18 AM on November 15, 2012 [2 favorites]


Guys what if I fly to New York just for this meetup and then fly back immediately after
posted by shakespeherian at 7:18 AM on November 15, 2012 [4 favorites]


I swear to god I will buy your food and maybe half your drinks shakes.
posted by griphus at 7:19 AM on November 15, 2012 [1 favorite]


I don't understand the exploitation thing. I sure hope you're not saying some exploitation makes more OK. I'm objecting to:

1) People throwing money at a known jerk. Y'know, ironically. Because lol?
2) The hatred and the negativity. You may not find gawking at a train wreck reprehensible, but I do. If you can do something to help, get in there and help. Otherwise move on.
3) Wasting money. I know I'm not the only person here who grew up poor, but I have a hard time lavishing money on an irrational expense when it could be put to better use. It's your money, and you're free to spend it however; but likewise, I'm free to call you out on irresponsible and spiteful behavior publicly.

This is pretty much a perfect example of why people hate hipsters. Let's all gang up and make fun of something! Or else: Aren't we all smart and clever for hating all the right things! It's not cute.
posted by Eideteker at 7:20 AM on November 15, 2012 [2 favorites]


okay fine you can share my nachos, jesus
posted by shakespeherian at 7:25 AM on November 15, 2012 [5 favorites]


HORRIBLE PEOPLE EATING HORRIBLE FOOD FOR HORRIBLE REASONS.
posted by The Whelk at 7:27 AM on November 15, 2012 [12 favorites]


Yes, we are free to spend it however! Personally, I will be spending my money by giving a generous tip to some poor soul who has to drag their ass out to the loudest, most obnoxious restaurant in Times Square on a daily basis to wait on tourists who pretend that they don't know how tipping works. I'm such an irresponsible, spiteful dick in that way.
posted by griphus at 7:30 AM on November 15, 2012 [3 favorites]


Yeah, I never claimed to be a nice or good person, so I'm ok with this.

Also, I have the mustache going strong right now, so I really CAN be called a hipster!
posted by Grither at 7:31 AM on November 15, 2012


Spoiler, the quidnunc kid looks just like Devil's Tower.
posted by shakespeherian at 7:32 AM on November 15, 2012 [4 favorites]


I'm not sure why, but I've always pictured him looking like Telly Savalas.
posted by griphus at 7:33 AM on November 15, 2012


"An irrational expense? Dude, you own a motorcycle in a city that has world-class public transit. Come on."

Transit doesn't go everywhere. And really, is that the best you can do? What you're doing isn't horrible because someone else is doing something that could also be considered irresponsible? So basically your argument is that two wrongs make a right?
posted by Eideteker at 7:34 AM on November 15, 2012


If you are so het up about helping, maybe you can make your own thread about a thanksgiving soup kitchen volunteering meetup for NYC mefites? I'm sure there will be a lot of opportunities to help out over the next few weeks while people are still recovering from the hurricane, especially with the holiday season approaching.

Just saying, it would be a lot more productive than relentlessly shitting in this thread.
posted by elizardbits at 7:34 AM on November 15, 2012 [2 favorites]


Eideteker:

1. I spent the better part of a Saturday putting in manpower helping my kayak club in Red Hook clean up after our boat shed flooded and got washed 20 yards down the street. I also then helped one of the members in the club clean up her flooded basement.

2. I spent an additional sum of money donating much-needed blankets to a shelter in my neighborhood. I threw in an additional sum to purchase some simple card games for the people forced to evacuate there - all of them residents of a nursing home in Coney Island. they are currently having to make do with sheltering in the gym at Brooklyn Tech, and I figure that's depressing and so a few decks of cards may cheer them up.

3. I will be alone on Thanksgiving and plan on putting in further manpower in Red Hook helping the crews from Occupy Sandy there.

Please tell me where I may submit this as a Karma Offset sufficient to purchase $15 for a goofy sundae so that I may have a break from things for a change. Thank you.
posted by EmpressCallipygos at 7:36 AM on November 15, 2012 [3 favorites]


I think the joke will work equally well if we all just show up and begin to rub the outside of the restaurant like the apes reacting to the monolith in 2001
posted by The Whelk at 7:41 AM on November 15, 2012 [3 favorites]


I once set an orphanage on fire, can I eat dumb food now?
posted by shakespeherian at 7:41 AM on November 15, 2012 [2 favorites]


shakespeherian = voldemort
posted by elizardbits at 7:43 AM on November 15, 2012


What you're doing isn't horrible because someone else is doing something that could also be considered irresponsible?

Ironically this is the exact same thing you are using as a defense from this argument.
posted by elizardbits at 7:46 AM on November 15, 2012


The real irony is that motorcycles only run on the blood of the innocent. Think about it, man.
posted by shakespeherian at 7:50 AM on November 15, 2012 [1 favorite]


So, anyway, did anyone pick what they want to order yet? I don't know whether to go by "stupidest name" or "most bizarre combination of ingredients."

Also, what day/time is good for everyone? I'd prefer a Sunday afternoon if it is all the same.
posted by griphus at 7:52 AM on November 15, 2012


good because I'm allergic to sincerity
posted by mintcake! at 8:00 AM on November 15, 2012


You're going to have to get something that's marked as a signature dish, right?
posted by shakespeherian at 8:00 AM on November 15, 2012 [1 favorite]


Fortunately that's like half the menu.
posted by shakespeherian at 8:00 AM on November 15, 2012 [1 favorite]


GUY'S SIGNATURE "ICE TO MEET YOU" AGUA: $7.95
Room-temperature tap water served with ice cubes in a cup. No refills.
posted by griphus at 8:03 AM on November 15, 2012 [3 favorites]


We want our Guests to dine with us in confidence.

SEEKRITLY
posted by elizardbits at 8:09 AM on November 15, 2012


Eideteker: "I don't understand the exploitation thing. I sure hope you're not saying some exploitation makes more OK. I'm objecting to:

...

3) Wasting money. I know I'm not the only person here who grew up poor, but I have a hard time lavishing money on an irrational expense when it could be put to better use. It's your money, and you're free to spend it however; but likewise, I'm free to call you out on irresponsible and spiteful behavior publicly.


Hi. You don't know me. We've never met. You don't have a clue what underlying motivation(s) I might have for going to a metafilter meetup at any given restaurant or bar.

Before judging, ask questions. And if you can't be bothered, don't presume.
posted by zarq at 8:11 AM on November 15, 2012 [1 favorite]


Weekday evening is easiest for me. Whether I can make a weekend day or night will depend on what weekend it is.
posted by zarq at 8:18 AM on November 15, 2012


I don't know Greg is it made with real donkeys?
posted by The Whelk at 8:20 AM on November 15, 2012 [1 favorite]


I am vegetarian so I would like tofonkey sauce, if possible.
posted by mintcake! at 8:23 AM on November 15, 2012 [3 favorites]


Breakfast would actually be hilarious there but I don't think they open until 11ish like everything else in that ghastly neighborhood.
posted by elizardbits at 8:24 AM on November 15, 2012


THE CITY THAT NEVER SLEEPS opens at 11am
posted by shakespeherian at 8:29 AM on November 15, 2012 [2 favorites]


Hours:
Sun - Wed: 11:30 am - Midnight
Thurs - Sat: 11:30 am - 1:00 am
posted by zarq at 8:30 AM on November 15, 2012


we all have hangovers and spooky raccoon eyes.
posted by The Whelk at 8:30 AM on November 15, 2012 [1 favorite]


let's just move the fuck on to finding out what the quidnunc kid looks like so I can get me some mad mashed potatoes cash

I actually look like a mound of roasted potato mash.

So, yeah ... this is not a difficult task, I guess.
posted by the quidnunc kid at 8:38 AM on November 15, 2012


That explains why 'Guy Fieri' sounds like 'Sky burial.'
posted by shakespeherian at 8:40 AM on November 15, 2012


No but yes but no? I'm so confused. Good company... bad food... what do I do.
posted by spec80 at 8:45 AM on November 15, 2012


"I think the joke will work equally well if we all just show up and begin to rub the outside of the restaurant like the apes reacting to the monolith in 2001"

This I would be up for.
posted by Eideteker at 9:20 AM on November 15, 2012


We can eat it at the end of the meal

Well I was hoping you might try to animate the mashGolem with magic and/or electricity, and have it run amok thoughout New York doing your evil bidding. But it sounds like you guys are hungry.
posted by the quidnunc kid at 9:22 AM on November 15, 2012 [2 favorites]


"You don't have a clue what underlying motivation(s) I might have for going to a metafilter meetup at any given restaurant or bar."

"the food is bad, and the prices are outrageous. Who's in?"

There's my clue.

"Before judging, ask questions. And if you can't be bothered, don't presume."

I said that I don't understand. Please help me understand so that I can play nice with the other kids and not die horribly alone. Because I really do not get this.
posted by Eideteker at 9:26 AM on November 15, 2012


Wait so are we talking this this weekend like 16-18th, or the weekend after that, 23-25th? Got crazy work deadline and projects this weekend that will keep me somewhat on-call all the way through Sunday morning. As for Thanksgiving weekend, I have a guest in town who will be leaving Sunday morning.

In either case, Sunday afternoon would work for me. The later the better.
posted by kkokkodalk at 9:50 AM on November 15, 2012


I was thinking maybe 12/8-9? I'm out of town this weekend 12/1-2.
posted by griphus at 9:54 AM on November 15, 2012


Those dates would work even better.
posted by kkokkodalk at 9:56 AM on November 15, 2012


Wait I was just assuming this was going to be how you all spent Thanksgiving, was I wrong
posted by shakespeherian at 10:03 AM on November 15, 2012 [1 favorite]


Please help me understand so that I can play nice with the other kids and not die horribly alone. Because I really do not get this.

Sometimes doing things for fun is okay.

Sometimes doing fun things even though there are other bad things going on in the world is also okay.

Sometimes the things one person thinks are fun, another person doesn't think are fun, and that is also okay.

Sometimes everyone else may want to do something that they think is fun, but you may not want to becuase you don't think it's fun. That's okay.

However, criticizing the people who are doing something they think is fun, and you don't think is fun, calling them "contemptible" and "spiteful" just because they are spending their own money on something that you don't want to spend yours on, is never okay.

Hope that helps! :-)
posted by EmpressCallipygos at 10:12 AM on November 15, 2012 [5 favorites]


if this is going to interfere with previously scheduled SEEKRIT EVENTS i will be grumpy.
posted by elizardbits at 10:13 AM on November 15, 2012


What are SEEKRIT EVENTS I want in unless it's that thing with the butter that I heard about because that is too weird.
posted by shakespeherian at 10:15 AM on November 15, 2012


The food network does always say to go to pricey places for lunch in order to be more frugal...
posted by Karmakaze at 10:28 AM on November 15, 2012


Does anyone have a problem with calling it for lunchtime, Sunday, 12/9?
posted by griphus at 10:32 AM on November 15, 2012


Eideteker: " "the food is bad, and the prices are outrageous. Who's in?"

There's my clue.
"

Yeah, but I didn't say it.

FWIW, I have been to exactly one two-person Metafilter meetup, and have only ever met three Mefites in person. It's kind of ridiculous since I'm living in a city which has a really high concentration of Mefites. But I also work really long hours and try to give as much of the rest of my free time to my kids as I can. The schedules just haven't worked out.

The restaurant is in a location that is relatively close to my office, easy to get to, and I actually ate there a bunch of times in its previous incarnation as a Homeland Brewery. I honestly don't really care much about the quality of the food or who owns the place, as long as I don't get poisoned and it doesn't trigger my allergies. The prices truly aren't all that high for midtown, and I don't go out much so I'm okay with splurging a little to do something fun for myself. For the restaurant itself, I'd get to go somewhere new, satisfy my own morbid curiosity and hopefully be pleasantly surprised if/when it exceeds the reviews.

I'm not a hipster. And while I'd like to think I have a certain je ne sais quoi, I don't think of myself as cute. :D

My point is simply that I'm not going to this place to waste money and trash it afterwards. Hey, I may wind up doing both, but that's not the overriding reason I'd go. Don't assume I'm being spiteful or irrational, please, just because I want to go to a meetup.

Also, for whatever it's worth, I volunteer, donate blood and do other things for charity on a regular basis, but dislike talking about it. I very much believe in doing that sort of thing anonymously, without bragging about it or expecting kudos. To paraphrase Chris Rock, you're supposed to help your fellow man and not expect anything in return. And I don't think I should have to prove my cred in order to be able to eat somewhere without being judged.
posted by zarq at 10:46 AM on November 15, 2012 [2 favorites]


Works for me! I'm with kkokkodalk on thinking the later the better (like 3?)
posted by ThePinkSuperhero at 10:54 AM on November 15, 2012


Although I suppose it depends on when lunch ends and dinner begins...wouldn't want to miss lunch.
posted by ThePinkSuperhero at 11:00 AM on November 15, 2012


12/9 works! I'm good for anytime!
posted by spec80 at 11:13 AM on November 15, 2012


I vote for an ironic firebombing on 11/29.

We shall use their margaritas as accelerant, the lard wrung off the calamari as fuel and a rope of congealed donkey sauce as wick.

Who's in, comerades?
posted by lalochezia at 1:30 PM on November 15, 2012


In soviet russia, peasant cannot read date!
posted by lalochezia at 1:30 PM on November 15, 2012


My birthday is 3 days after 12/9 -- so be sure to have a possibly disgusting dessert for me (though if I'd known I could just make some suggestion that NY Mefites do something and then it would happen... well, I might have chosen to use my powers more wisely)
posted by MCMikeNamara at 4:16 PM on November 15, 2012


I will eat cheesecake for you, the food I only have when the stars are right cause it pulls in calories from other dimensions.
posted by The Whelk at 5:07 PM on November 15, 2012


Hee, The Onion: Bubba Gump Shrimp Owner Comforts Depressed Guy Fieri.
posted by gaspode at 5:14 PM on November 15, 2012


I'm with eide on this. My tolerance of hipster irony does not extend to spending my money on crappy food.....and I'll give help to Sandy victims as soon as my stuff is out of the way of the broken crane.
posted by brujita at 6:41 PM on November 15, 2012


Okay, in all seriousness -- we have had other meetups at a time when there were people suffering misfortune. We nevertheless had meetups. Why is this suddenly an issue?
posted by EmpressCallipygos at 6:50 PM on November 15, 2012


12/9 is good for me.
posted by kkokkodalk at 6:57 PM on November 15, 2012


Still waiting for concerned mefites to start an IRL thread about an NYC volunteer work meetup!
posted by elizardbits at 6:58 PM on November 15, 2012 [2 favorites]


My tolerance of hipster irony

OH GOD MY SECRET WEAKNESS

I'LL DO ANYTHING YOU WANT JUST DON'T CALL ME THAT WORD AGAIN
posted by shakespeherian at 7:16 PM on November 15, 2012


Irony?
posted by Holy Zarquon's Singing Fish at 7:22 PM on November 15, 2012


of
posted by shakespeherian at 7:33 PM on November 15, 2012


They say that but I still had to go to Jiffy Lube.
posted by shakespeherian at 7:44 PM on November 15, 2012


How is 2 PM for everyone?
posted by griphus at 7:46 PM on November 15, 2012


Good!
posted by spec80 at 9:00 PM on November 15, 2012


I am going to go and sincerely enjoy every minute. No irony involved. Sunday lunch? Hell, that menu is PERFECT hangover food. And I get to meet east coast mefites! 12/9 is good for me.
posted by whitneyarner at 11:37 PM on November 15, 2012


I like 2.
posted by ThePinkSuperhero at 12:27 AM on November 16, 2012


Dang, I am in Chicago that weekend.... So enjoy! Or... try to enjoy?

I am sad I will miss the mashedpotatoGolem, too.
posted by Grither at 5:26 AM on November 16, 2012


Okay it is official.
posted by griphus at 6:21 AM on November 16, 2012


BOO YA, BRING IT ON
posted by ThePinkSuperhero at 6:25 AM on November 16, 2012


This is madness
posted by The Whelk at 7:36 AM on November 16, 2012


THIS IS FLAVORTOWN
posted by griphus at 7:39 AM on November 16, 2012


This is madness
posted by shakespeherian at 7:43 AM on November 16, 2012


What reservation I assumed we where doing to descend from the ceiling on zip lines.
posted by The Whelk at 8:12 AM on November 16, 2012 [2 favorites]


Let's call it 12/2 just so it's an even week because I am the sort of person who needs to have the television volume set to a multiple of five.
posted by griphus at 8:15 AM on November 16, 2012


also 12 + 2 = 14 and 1 + 4 = 5 so this should be especially satisfying for you.
posted by elizardbits at 8:19 AM on November 16, 2012 [1 favorite]


I think two tables would probably work well- saves us the trouble of doing a group bill for 15+ people.
posted by ThePinkSuperhero at 8:26 AM on November 16, 2012


Hey, wow, that was a good idea, Greg. And, yeah, let's just make two reservations.

Also plz scan and post the party menu.
posted by griphus at 8:31 AM on November 16, 2012


Just FYI if the place seats 500 or whatever there's a chance your two tables will be separated by like sixteen acres of restaurant.
posted by shakespeherian at 8:34 AM on November 16, 2012


We've transcended mere dining and now are in the more rarified PARTY MENU DIMENSION
posted by The Whelk at 8:36 AM on November 16, 2012 [2 favorites]


there are lasers and glitter here
posted by elizardbits at 8:43 AM on November 16, 2012


I love that the logo looks like some sort of buffalo-sauce version of the presidential seal.
posted by shakespeherian at 8:49 AM on November 16, 2012 [2 favorites]


I am both intrigued and horrified by the notion of the "triple double mint pie".

(I'm a firm "maybe" at this point, and will commit one way or the other before the due date.)
posted by EmpressCallipygos at 8:51 AM on November 16, 2012


Holy shit they charge by the hour.
posted by griphus at 8:54 AM on November 16, 2012


Also, okay, fuck it, cutoff is 11/28. You don't RSVP by then, you have only yourself to blame. If you do RSVP by then, you have me to blame.
posted by griphus at 8:55 AM on November 16, 2012


Do you really think this is the kind of place anyone wants to hang out in more than 2 hours?
posted by elizardbits at 8:55 AM on November 16, 2012


12/28 is not the date you mean.
posted by elizardbits at 8:56 AM on November 16, 2012


I'm sort of imagining us walking out of there nauseous, drunk and wearing barrels on suspenders.
posted by griphus at 8:57 AM on November 16, 2012 [1 favorite]


THANKS EDIT WINDOW
posted by griphus at 8:57 AM on November 16, 2012


NB barrels are actually pretty expensive these days since cooperage is now an artisanal kind of thing instead of an everyday profession.
posted by elizardbits at 8:58 AM on November 16, 2012 [2 favorites]


As it turns out, there really is no such thing as bad publicity.

That said, I may need to take a trip to New York, because I kind of want to see what will happen when you put Greg Nog, griphus, The Whelk, and Guy Fieri in the same room together.
posted by schmod at 8:59 AM on November 16, 2012 [1 favorite]


So wait we have to RSVP separately?

I kinda wanna show up just splattered in blood and not explain anything.
posted by The Whelk at 9:00 AM on November 16, 2012 [2 favorites]


Er, by "RSVP" I mean "RSVP in this thread."

What great Hairy Voltron, it's hour come round at last, slouches toward Midtown to be born

Donkey sauce is loosed upon the world.
posted by griphus at 9:02 AM on November 16, 2012


My RSVP: Re-re-confirming that this all works for me.
posted by kkokkodalk at 9:21 AM on November 16, 2012


CLICK ON THE THING
posted by griphus at 9:23 AM on November 16, 2012


I wonder if they have a "we will not seat incomplete parties" thing and we need to pull some Midwestern senior citizen couple off the street and convince them to eat at Guy's House of Blood Pressure because YOU MUST GATHER YOUR PARTY BEFORE VENTURING FORTH.
posted by griphus at 9:42 AM on November 16, 2012 [2 favorites]


(Also, thx for taking care of that part.)
posted by griphus at 9:42 AM on November 16, 2012


YOU MUST GATHER YOUR PARTY BEFORE VENTURING FORTH.

We'll go for the eyes then
posted by The Whelk at 9:44 AM on November 16, 2012


If they are going to refuse seating for a large party because one or two people who signed up decided they had better things to do or had a death in the family or were suddenly and unexpectedly abducted by ninjas, then I can only assume they don't like money. And the management of Guy's American Kitchen clearly did not start this business because they love cooking.
posted by Holy Zarquon's Singing Fish at 9:45 AM on November 16, 2012


We always loose a few members to owlbears on the way there but the onion rings are worth it
posted by The Whelk at 9:49 AM on November 16, 2012


Oh, has anyone figured out a way that we can all combine our experiences into some sort of Project? I can only assume we'll be live-commenting the event in this thread, but we should make this a Thing with photos and drawings and maybe a theme song.
posted by griphus at 9:50 AM on November 16, 2012


and potato sculptures
posted by elizardbits at 9:52 AM on November 16, 2012


I really feel like a dick that the Malibu oysters intrigue the most because I suspect that is the one menu item, followed closely by the tuna taco, that has the highest possibility of disappointing me in both flavor and price point while also making me violently ill. It just seems really disrespectful to oysters as well, which are easily one of my top favorite things to eat.

As someone who had dysentery at the age of 6 from a bad batch of crabs, you'd think I'd be trying to make better choices with my life in regards to shellfish, but I subscribe strictly to the no fucks given school of food. All things will be tried at least twice before dismissal and you can't blame a foodstuff for your food borne illness. There are outliers, like sea pineapples, which I knew on first try I'd probably never touch again, but if a month long hospital stay didn't stop me from eating crabs and other shellfish ever again, these motherfucking oysters can bring it.
posted by kkokkodalk at 9:52 AM on November 16, 2012 [3 favorites]


a Thing with photos and drawings and maybe a theme song.

Journey To The Center Of Times Square.

Well need a bard.
posted by The Whelk at 9:59 AM on November 16, 2012


I could probably be talked into such a thing.
posted by ThePinkSuperhero at 10:18 AM on November 16, 2012


I *think* I can make this. Was supposed to be in Boston for the weekend, but am pretty sure that's about to be cancelled. Putting 'maybe.' Will confirm by Weds.
posted by zarq at 10:21 AM on November 16, 2012


I'm just going to assign you all classes and alignments for my own amusement.
posted by The Whelk at 10:24 AM on November 16, 2012


greg nog chaotic good brewmancer
posted by The Whelk at 10:25 AM on November 16, 2012 [1 favorite]


My mashGolem is invulnerable to edged weapons and I believe is "neutral", in both alignment and taste.
posted by the quidnunc kid at 11:20 AM on November 16, 2012 [1 favorite]


I am checking on the date this weekend and will have a firm Y or N by Monday or Tuesday. I am very, very interested in looking the beast directly in the eye.
posted by mintcake! at 12:51 PM on November 16, 2012


Why the fuck not am i rite
posted by showbiz_liz at 4:20 PM on November 16, 2012


and after we will all go see twilight, right
posted by elizardbits at 4:57 PM on November 16, 2012 [3 favorites]


I AM IN. This will be my first ever MeFi meetup and I've been a member since 2005. I can't believe this is the thing that did it.

(And for those keeping score: I'll try not to eat too much or spend too much. I have made three trips to the Rockaways from Connecticut to deliver full carloads of things. Also, I voted for your favorite candidate a week and a half ago.)
posted by houseofdanie at 5:43 PM on November 16, 2012


Also, I voted for your favorite candidate a week and a half ago.

But Flavortown is a dictatorship.
posted by mintcake! at 6:01 PM on November 16, 2012


Occupy Flavortowm!
posted by The Whelk at 6:07 PM on November 16, 2012 [2 favorites]


I would like to come to this because you are all neat but I a) am super poor and b) vowed years ago that I would never again engage in check splitting with any party larger than 4. So might I come just for the company and to experience America? We can tell the waitstaff that I am on the seven-day donkeysauce cleanse but have already had my daily allowance, or something.

And then maybe we can paint our nails sparkly blue?
posted by davidjmcgee at 1:08 AM on November 17, 2012


Count me in.
posted by kithrater at 1:38 AM on November 17, 2012


I better go exchange my currency now while these prices look reasonable.
posted by kithrater at 1:54 AM on November 17, 2012


...vowed years ago that I would never again engage in check splitting with any party larger than 4....

Yeah I think everyone should throw the money in a hat at the time of ordering because, man, I love meetups but splitting a check after everyone's already hammered is ridiculous.
posted by griphus at 7:31 AM on November 17, 2012 [1 favorite]


I better go exchange my currency now while these prices look reasonable.

This restaurant uses its own currency? This place really is nuts.
posted by davidjmcgee at 7:55 AM on November 17, 2012 [1 favorite]


david, I will give you some of my drink that I am splitting with someone if you'd like!

Oh, that is super sweet of you, but I'll be OK. Smiley emoticon.
posted by davidjmcgee at 7:56 AM on November 17, 2012


The currency is FREEDOM and also eagle tears.
posted by elizardbits at 7:58 AM on November 17, 2012


davidjmcgee, I will stand you an insanely overpriced frozen drink provided we can drink it with two straws.
posted by The Whelk at 8:45 AM on November 17, 2012


and those straws are really long and curly.
posted by The Whelk at 8:45 AM on November 17, 2012


And every seven seconds we switch straws.
posted by davidjmcgee at 8:48 AM on November 17, 2012


thats how you get a cold
posted by The Whelk at 8:52 AM on November 17, 2012


I hear the jury's still out on science.
posted by davidjmcgee at 9:33 AM on November 17, 2012


I'll bring the sparkly blue nailpolish.
posted by houseofdanie at 6:32 PM on November 17, 2012


I am almost certainly going and bringing my fictional beyonce.
posted by Potomac Avenue at 10:24 AM on November 18, 2012


Okay. Only just saw this. I keep kosher and barely drink. But I would be glad to come and serve as a control, should that be welcome.
posted by Mchelly at 11:36 PM on November 18, 2012


I asked if the mods could run the numbers a few days ago and they did and this is now the longest IRL thread.

TAKE THAT, SAN FRANCISCO.
posted by griphus at 5:19 AM on November 19, 2012 [1 favorite]


"I vote for an ironic firebombing on 11/29. "

'T would be better than a moneybombing.

"Sometimes doing things for fun is okay."

There are plenty of "fun" things that are also really not cool. It's actually very easy to do "fun" things that are also mean-spirited and negative. Or maybe I'm just not into recreational scorn (would that be "scorn porn"?).
posted by Eideteker at 6:40 AM on November 19, 2012


[Eid, it's really really okay to just skip a thread for a meetup you don't like the idea of. Please walk away.]
posted by cortex at 7:43 AM on November 19, 2012 [11 favorites]


I'm in. If the other nearby meetup goes down we should all absolutely intertwine at some point and climax with a rousing group tourist trap rendition of 'Fugue For Tinhorns' outside the M&M's Store because Run-DMC taught us what December in New York is all about and we're all Official Internet Friends, really. Hugs, you guys.
posted by mintcake! at 8:31 AM on November 19, 2012 [1 favorite]


TAKE THAT, SAN FRANCISCO.

*blows raspberry at griphus*
posted by rtha at 8:33 AM on November 19, 2012


I do hope y'all liveblog the experience so I can enjoy it from afar!
posted by rtha at 8:39 AM on November 19, 2012


I feel like we should take up a collection and send it to NYC so more people can enjoy this, in exchange for detailed live blogging of the entire event.
posted by gingerbeer at 8:40 AM on November 19, 2012 [1 favorite]


There should be someone on a CNN green screen set, manipulating charts and announcing that yes, the chicken wings have arrived, we have confirmation in that....
posted by The Whelk at 9:52 AM on November 19, 2012


Karl Rove refuses to believe that the drinks have been served, melts down on live television.
posted by shakespeherian at 10:00 AM on November 19, 2012


So who wins in a "Tape their hands together and make them knife-dance" fight? Smart Dalek or griphus??
posted by Grither at 11:17 AM on November 19, 2012


I just want to point out that I enjoy Guy Fieri's show a little and enjoy places like Chilis and Buffalo Wild Wings A LOT. But I am definitely a hipster, meaning that I just allow myself to enjoy things without ever feeling guilty about how it might look to others. Whee!
posted by Potomac Avenue at 11:45 AM on November 19, 2012




I'm going to get Bacon Mac & Cheese and eat it and take a picture of me doing it while being like "Hi H8rs" to all of them.
posted by Potomac Avenue at 11:52 AM on November 19, 2012


I want you all to look at the sixth line of this transcript: it is probably the best sentence ever to air on TV.

Okay now someone has to convince me that Guy's American Kitchen and Bar isn't owned by the same people as Fiesta Max.
posted by griphus at 11:55 AM on November 19, 2012


At Guy Fieriā€™s, you feel confident that you are in a Times Square restaurant under the auspices of Guy Fieri.

THE AFOREMENTIONED CONFIDENCE! THEY DID IT!
posted by mintcake! at 12:08 PM on November 19, 2012


It would be great if we could fill the entire restaurant with MeFites! All the tourists would be stuck outside, looking in longingly at the Bacon Mac & Cheese and the formaldahyde blue drinks.
posted by computech_apolloniajames at 1:57 PM on November 19, 2012


I'll double count as a tourist and a MeFite; I can make charming references to the time I ate a wallaby and mock your sissy American "beer".
posted by kithrater at 3:33 PM on November 19, 2012


Where is my transporter technology already, because DANG I would love to be at this meetup.
posted by rtha at 4:39 PM on November 19, 2012


Kitrater, I've always wanted to take an actual Aussie to The Sunburnt Calf to see how well the NYC version of an " Australian " place and cuisine matches against the real thing.
posted by The Whelk at 4:45 PM on November 19, 2012


I'm in NY from the 8th to the 15th. Provided we all survive this event, I am happy to be taken places and fed food.
posted by kithrater at 5:06 PM on November 19, 2012


Grrr...

Leaving this on "Maybe" for the moment. I'm not going to Boston, but may instead be sent to Florida.

When do final confirmations have to be in?
posted by zarq at 12:01 PM on November 20, 2012


Wednesday the 28th
posted by griphus at 12:05 PM on November 20, 2012


Also I had some friends from Australia visit a while ago and I am really, really sad that I did not have a chance to take them to Outback Steakhouse.
posted by griphus at 12:06 PM on November 20, 2012


Okay. I should know by Monday. Thanks!
posted by zarq at 12:20 PM on November 20, 2012


but may instead be sent to Florida.

OMG RASCAL HOUSE MEETUP FOR EARLY BIRD SPECIAL
posted by elizardbits at 12:28 PM on November 20, 2012


OMG RASCAL HOUSE MEETUP FOR EARLY BIRD SPECIAL

Didn't they close a couple of years ago?

The only thing I would plan to do.... If I wind up going, I'd be about a little over an hour's drive from where my dad is buried. So I might try and take a side trip.
posted by zarq at 12:40 PM on November 20, 2012


We'll get Bill Murray to play you in the movie.
posted by griphus at 1:00 PM on November 20, 2012




I have some really bad news, guys. The blue drink that tastes like formaldehyde? It's a goner. Now our nails will not match our shared drink. Unless.. I bring OTHER nail polish. The plot thickens.
posted by houseofdanie at 8:16 PM on November 20, 2012


Bring a roll of quarters; a peepshow palate cleanser is mandatory afterward.
posted by dr_dank at 8:49 PM on November 20, 2012


Wait, I'll be in New York until that evening. My morbid curiosity demands that I try to convince the sister I'm visiting that this will be a worthwhile endeavor. Plus, I could, you know, meet more MeFites. That's good, too.

Also, I need to pick up shakes' evil crown to bring back to him in Chicago. He's been extra grumpy without it.
posted by BevosAngryGhost at 10:19 PM on November 20, 2012


a peepshow palate cleanser is mandatory afterward.

You ain't gonna find that in Times Square any more.
posted by EmpressCallipygos at 4:21 AM on November 21, 2012


EXTRA GRUMPY
posted by shakespeherian at 6:14 AM on November 21, 2012


fuck now i have to make a crown, don't i
posted by elizardbits at 9:19 AM on November 21, 2012


"Make" is a fine word for "pasting cut-out butts onto a cardboard Burger King crown retrieved from a municipal trash can."
posted by griphus at 9:21 AM on November 21, 2012


I was thinking more of those ghastly bachelorette party favors that are tiaras made of plastic cocks.
posted by elizardbits at 9:33 AM on November 21, 2012


I USED TO SELL THOSE

I once had to go down to the NYC Dept. of Zoning to ask if we could open a new shop that only sold novelty/bachelorette stuff (as opposed to straight-up "marital aids") in a certain area. The middle-aged lady bureacrats -- sprung fully-formed from the head of Nancy Reagan herself -- asked me to explain and the only example I could think of was a wedding veil with little plastic dongs embroidered into it.

The looks on their faces was fucking priceless.
posted by griphus at 9:37 AM on November 21, 2012 [4 favorites]


If I see Bevos at a Goat meetup and he doesn't have a cock crown for me I will be SORELY DISAPPOINTED
posted by shakespeherian at 9:39 AM on November 21, 2012


Ok, convinced the sister. We'll be there. Cock crowns can be successfully carried across the country.
posted by BevosAngryGhost at 9:53 AM on November 21, 2012


...and if this doesn't happen, we'll obviously have to make one in Chicago for the next Goatup. One way or another, shakes will have plastic dongs on his forehead.
posted by BevosAngryGhost at 9:55 AM on November 21, 2012


AKA, it's Wednesday.
posted by shakespeherian at 10:01 AM on November 21, 2012


holy crap I totally forgot I have a crown in my closet.

I can bring it.
posted by The Whelk at 11:12 AM on November 21, 2012


I really don't get your young people slang anymore.
posted by griphus at 11:19 AM on November 21, 2012


You can, for $5.
posted by shakespeherian at 11:34 AM on November 21, 2012


I will bring the crown if we find away to send it to Shakes
posted by The Whelk at 11:40 AM on November 21, 2012


wait are you saying you are ALREADY IN POSSESSION of a cock crown

is this the thing you are saying to me now
posted by elizardbits at 1:49 PM on November 21, 2012


It's a regular cockless crown

The Cockless crown is a great pub name.
posted by The Whelk at 2:09 PM on November 21, 2012 [1 favorite]


I'm visiting from Chicago. I'll bring it back with me and present it to him in grand style. I'll wear it through airport security, if that's what it takes to make it back safely.

Or if I just want some attention.
posted by BevosAngryGhost at 3:22 PM on November 21, 2012


The Once And Future Mefite.
posted by The Whelk at 3:26 PM on November 21, 2012


I hereby initiate Bevos as my ambassador of peace to the land of New York.

Don't eat the pizza
posted by shakespeherian at 3:30 PM on November 21, 2012


Bevos is coming back as a pizza in people clothes like a changeling.
posted by griphus at 3:34 PM on November 21, 2012 [1 favorite]


I am going to wear the crown to the resteraunt.
posted by The Whelk at 3:38 PM on November 21, 2012


We all know you are in fact wearing the crown right now.
posted by elizardbits at 3:44 PM on November 21, 2012


Heavy is the head on which destiny rests.

I do not envy shakesperian.
posted by The Whelk at 3:45 PM on November 21, 2012


Who?
posted by shakespeherian at 3:54 PM on November 21, 2012


that one dude who is a troublemaker
posted by elizardbits at 3:58 PM on November 21, 2012


zarq
posted by shakespeherian at 4:03 PM on November 21, 2012


no i think his name is baecon or something
posted by elizardbits at 4:08 PM on November 21, 2012


A FREE PREVIEW
posted by The Whelk at 4:34 PM on November 21, 2012


gimme gimme gimme
posted by shakespeherian at 4:36 PM on November 21, 2012


All your love after midnight. /abba
posted by The Whelk at 4:42 PM on November 21, 2012


NEVER CLOSE THE ABBA TAG
posted by shakespeherian at 4:45 PM on November 21, 2012


Elaine?

Elaine!

Elaine.
posted by The Whelk at 4:48 PM on November 21, 2012


A FREE PREVIEW

Blessedly cock-free.
posted by zarq at 9:19 PM on November 21, 2012


Happy thanksgiving thread!
posted by Potomac Avenue at 4:19 PM on November 22, 2012


I have to cancel. :-(
posted by kithrater at 11:54 PM on November 24, 2012


I think we may perhaps want to get two separate tables just because we don't want to run afoul of either having to use the Party Menu or the logistics of a 30-person check.
posted by griphus at 9:59 AM on November 26, 2012


we should probably get started on our outfits now to avoid confusion.
posted by The Whelk at 10:06 AM on November 26, 2012


Prolly three separate ones tbh. A 15-person check is no fun either.
posted by elizardbits at 10:06 AM on November 26, 2012


wait i thought we were all wearing our whelksuits
posted by elizardbits at 10:09 AM on November 26, 2012


It just occurred to me that I could time things so I hit up the Toys-r-us megastore for my niece and nephew before stopping in for this.

I'm just trying to decide whether "Times Square Toys-r-us" followed by "Guy Fieri travesty" would be a genius idea or eldritch horror.
posted by EmpressCallipygos at 10:17 AM on November 26, 2012


No, the toy store is for afterwards when everyone is drunk and fights over going on that ferris wheel.
posted by elizardbits at 11:41 AM on November 26, 2012


Now you have 31 people. 15 and 16? 3x5 and 4x4? 5x6 and someone at the bar?

I heavily suggest people figure out what they want and bring cash. Or at least bring cash. And not just $20s.
posted by Hactar at 6:33 AM on November 27, 2012


7 and three quarters of a person per table.
posted by shakespeherian at 7:59 AM on November 27, 2012


With the reviews this place is getting, I'd think that they would be wise to start collecting the money before the food comes -- or at least getting a deposit.
posted by MCMikeNamara at 12:15 PM on November 27, 2012 [2 favorites]


Bring small bills or tiny williams plz.
posted by The Whelk at 12:33 PM on November 27, 2012


Is everyone joking or should we actually collect a small amount at the door and order family style instead of individually? I think this is a good idea. I am fairly certain I do not want to finish a full plate. I'm good with bites here and there.

I'm willing to help with this but I can't do it alone.
posted by spec80 at 5:18 PM on November 27, 2012


It looks like I might be able to make it after all. I'mma put a maybe and change it by the end of tomorrow. Woo!

(and essexjan, it *does* sound like fun!)
posted by gaspode at 9:00 AM on November 28, 2012


Ok cool. Just checking.
posted by spec80 at 9:02 AM on November 28, 2012


[Let's just ixnay the off-site drama entirely, please?]
posted by cortex at 9:02 AM on November 28, 2012


Yeah I mean it makes sense if people want to split things between one another, but family-style in a non-family-style restaurant is a giant pain in the ass for everyone.

TODAY IS THE LAST DAY TO SWITCH FROM 'MAYBE' TO 'ATTENDING'. WE'LL BE MAKING THE FINAL RESERVATION TOMORROW.
posted by griphus at 9:18 AM on November 28, 2012


Oh whoops, by the end of today, then.
posted by gaspode at 9:50 AM on November 28, 2012


Anyone want to help wrap gift drive gifts the day before?
posted by ThePinkSuperhero at 10:20 AM on November 28, 2012


FINAL RESERVATION is like the food version of an endless series of horror movies.
posted by elizardbits at 10:21 AM on November 28, 2012 [1 favorite]


FINAL RESERVATION: everybody who goes dies a horrible food death and then everybody who was a maybe but then didn't go ends up haunted by it and then slowly but surely dies increasingly complex food related deaths.

God, I really hope that doesn't happen now.
posted by MCMikeNamara at 3:56 PM on November 28, 2012


Hey, did we ever figure out who run flavortown?
posted by davidjmcgee at 5:55 PM on November 28, 2012


MEFI RUN FLAVORTOWN
posted by griphus at 5:59 PM on November 28, 2012


Oh, sweet. That's what I thought originally.
posted by davidjmcgee at 6:12 PM on November 28, 2012


*revs diesel food cart engine*
posted by The Whelk at 6:15 PM on November 28, 2012


I'm only bringing singles so i can stuff them into the cow grinding onstage's gstring. or did i misinterpret what this place is all about?
posted by Potomac Avenue at 9:20 AM on November 30, 2012


No that's some udder place.
posted by griphus at 11:18 AM on November 30, 2012 [1 favorite]


But if you meant Kraft singles you're okay.
posted by ocherdraco at 11:43 AM on November 30, 2012


True. There is nothing cows love more than compressed vegetable oil.
posted by shakespeherian at 11:44 AM on November 30, 2012


RUINERS
posted by elizardbits at 3:11 PM on November 30, 2012


It really is all American, there is a minimum maximum consumption requirement.
posted by The Whelk at 3:12 PM on November 30, 2012 [1 favorite]


I think we should make a Kickstarter for this.
posted by griphus at 7:14 AM on December 1, 2012


10$ I will write an insulting haiku about you
posted by The Whelk at 8:16 AM on December 1, 2012 [1 favorite]


Ha ha ha they said they can do a party of 33 as long as I sign a "minimum consumption" guarantee of $900 plus tax and tip. I said NOPE i cannot guarantee anything, so we'll see what they want to do, how they wanna break us down.

Yes, we are all looking forward to seeing how they break you down.
posted by grobstein at 8:59 AM on December 1, 2012 [1 favorite]


Then begins the battle.
posted by The Whelk at 9:08 AM on December 1, 2012


Are we still carving the quidnunc kid out of mashed potatoes? Because that suggestion still strongly appeals to me.

(Also yay first official MetaFilter meetup!)
posted by Rory Marinich at 7:15 PM on December 2, 2012 [1 favorite]


My name is MeFi, you killed my tastebuds, prepare to die!
posted by lalochezia at 9:47 AM on December 4, 2012


Are we still carving the quidnunc kid out of mashed potatoes?

My offer to Paypal someone the associated costs still stands!
posted by the quidnunc kid at 9:42 AM on December 5, 2012


What happens if the restaurant says no? Does everyone just storm down the street like a horde of locusts, devouring everything in its path?
posted by elizardbits at 12:33 PM on December 5, 2012


You mean become tourists?
posted by shakespeherian at 12:43 PM on December 5, 2012


If tourists stormed down places, we'd like them better.
posted by griphus at 12:44 PM on December 5, 2012 [1 favorite]


It's a slow meandering storm four abreast, taking up the entire sidewalk and pointing straight upward.
posted by shakespeherian at 12:51 PM on December 5, 2012


THE ARISTOCRATS
posted by griphus at 12:52 PM on December 5, 2012


guys this place is right next door to the Harry Potter exhibition.

wands you guys.
posted by The Whelk at 1:23 PM on December 5, 2012 [1 favorite]


I am sort of terrified that this restaurant is doing so well that they have to deliberate whether to let in thirty people without a representative signing a legally binding document indicating that they will spend $30 apiece.
posted by griphus at 1:30 PM on December 5, 2012


again was told they'd call me back about this

I wonder if they've somehow found this thread and are all "Oh shit, what's worse: we let those crazy people in, or keep them out?"
posted by rtha at 1:32 PM on December 5, 2012


it touched us on a deep, emotional level. Like Proust. But with pine cones.
posted by The Whelk at 2:01 PM on December 5, 2012 [3 favorites]


CONI-FIERI'S OLDE TYME PIONEER SALAD
Pinecones, iceberg lettuce, thousand island dressing
$19.95
posted by griphus at 2:06 PM on December 5, 2012 [3 favorites]


Is this the best IRL thread ever? Because I think it is.

And I am sad that I am in Chicago this weekend.

So very sad.
posted by Grither at 5:18 AM on December 6, 2012


Let's all dress up like Guy Fieri ... I want to see the manager running around yelling into his headset "THOMAS CROWN AFFAIR! THOMAS CROWN AFFAIR! WHAT DO YOU MEAN YOU HAVENT SEEN IT! WELL SURE I MEAN THE REMAKE! ARGHH!"
posted by Potomac Avenue at 7:17 AM on December 6, 2012


I have a violent physical allergy to anything with hot rod flames on it.

It makes me break out in hammer murders.
posted by The Whelk at 8:00 AM on December 6, 2012


OKAY

We are confirmed for three parties of 10, 10 and 11 for 2 P.M. on Sunday.

Thanks for doing the legwork, Greg!
posted by griphus at 8:02 AM on December 6, 2012


IT BEGIINS
posted by The Whelk at 8:04 AM on December 6, 2012


Now I should buy a plane ticket and get a table for one and glare at you guys the whole time.
posted by shakespeherian at 8:16 AM on December 6, 2012


Instead of music, when you call the restaurant and they put you on hold, they have Guy Fieri screaming about his restaurant at you. Did you know he had a new restaurant? He has just informed you of this. While you are on hold. Calling his new restaurant.
posted by griphus at 8:30 AM on December 6, 2012 [3 favorites]


oh god it's actually happening
posted by elizardbits at 3:04 PM on December 6, 2012


My god I want to go to this.
posted by ColdChef at 4:36 PM on December 6, 2012


I feel like we should re-create the X-Men Cartoon intro for this or something
posted by The Whelk at 4:56 PM on December 6, 2012


yeah, the food will probably be good for business
posted by elizardbits at 4:56 PM on December 6, 2012 [1 favorite]


also as I've mentioned - Harry Potter exhibition right next door.
posted by The Whelk at 4:58 PM on December 6, 2012


Dibs on Gambit.
posted by griphus at 5:07 PM on December 6, 2012


Magneto.
posted by The Whelk at 5:17 PM on December 6, 2012


I saw the HP exhibit the first time it was here. Highly recommended if one's a fan.
posted by brujita at 5:45 PM on December 6, 2012


Karen and I are willing to pony up (donkey up) a prize to the attendee who most resembles THE FIERI in style, attitude, or... soul. Maybe we should bring three prizes, one for each table. Maybe the prizes should be edible, in case the food at the restaurant isn't. Hrm.
posted by houseofdanie at 6:38 AM on December 7, 2012


Greg, Guy Fieri does not wear a kilt.
posted by shakespeherian at 9:53 AM on December 7, 2012


YET
posted by The Whelk at 9:55 AM on December 7, 2012


Meanwhile, it's absolutely cape-weather.
posted by griphus at 9:55 AM on December 7, 2012


(a totally radical awesome rock and roll kilt with silver spikes and flames on the side and a pinup girl winking also 8-balls that means I'm not old)
posted by The Whelk at 9:56 AM on December 7, 2012


CAPE AND FEZ WEATHER ACTUALLY
posted by elizardbits at 10:32 AM on December 7, 2012


Flag
It
Entering
Restaurants
Ironically
posted by mintcake! at 1:37 PM on December 7, 2012


I have a pair of shoes I recently described as "wearing Guy Fieri on your feet." I was complaining I couldn't come to part with them but can't figure out where to wear them. What is this prize before I commit to putting these on my feet? Otherwise I don't have the fortitude to ironically or unironically pull an outfit around them.
posted by kkokkodalk at 2:52 PM on December 7, 2012


I have a pair of shoes I recently described as "wearing Guy Fieri on your feet."

Are they Fluevogs? I bet they're Fluevogs.
posted by mintcake! at 3:56 PM on December 7, 2012


Are they Fluevogs? I bet they're Fluevogs.

Ha, no. I've mentioned them before on Metafilter I think. They're blue "tribal flame" patterned Sha Shas I bought in the late 90s that were like a shameful love child between brothel creepers bowling shoes that the family would keep chained up in the attic. Came with a "g-spot" hidey hole in the sole for whatever kids going to shows and cluuurrbbbs in the 90s would hide in them. I think most famously they were the preferred footwear of the lead singer of Lit.
posted by kkokkodalk at 5:12 PM on December 7, 2012


i knew before even clicking that you would be talking about those shoes
posted by elizardbits at 5:33 PM on December 7, 2012


Came with a "g-spot" hidey hole in the sole for whatever kids going to shows and cluuurrbbbs in the 90s would hide in them

Goatees. So mom wouldn't catch you leaving the house with one.
posted by griphus at 6:22 PM on December 7, 2012


Probably not too warm for just the cape.
posted by cortex at 8:24 AM on December 8, 2012 [5 favorites]


Prolly need the kilt too if the cape doesn't have pockets. Possibly just a strategically (traditionally) placed sporran.
posted by elizardbits at 11:06 AM on December 8, 2012


Hey, I'm going to be in town, I could come down for this for the post meal drinks.
posted by mrzarquon at 12:42 PM on December 8, 2012


a prize to the attendee who most resembles THE FIERI in style

I will wear sunglasses backwards.

Oh, I don't mean on the back of my head. I mean on the bridge of my nose, convex side of the lenses touching my eyes, with the arms facing forward like strange plastic pincers. And I will not shout, nay, I will whisper sweet nothings to the nearest plate of shrimp. I will stare at the plate of shrimp and know that we would love each other if only there were a way to communicate. The universe is cruel, and communication is impossible. I will lean in close to kiss the shrimp -- a kiss of love and of farewell -- but my glasses' arms will stop me from getting too close. I will cry. My tears will salt the shrimp. The world will go on spinning.

And who, now, truly runs flavortown?
posted by davidjmcgee at 1:29 PM on December 8, 2012 [3 favorites]


What's the prize? Two words: origami Yoda.

Okay, I'll keep thinking.
posted by houseofdanie at 4:22 PM on December 8, 2012


So, I realize you guys have crazy reservations (now that I've read the thread) so would it make sense for me to try to sneak in an loiter, or will be a post meetup pepto bismol party somewhere, if I can't be number 32.
posted by mrzarquon at 4:25 PM on December 8, 2012


You can sit on my lap!
posted by houseofdanie at 5:31 PM on December 8, 2012


Or origami Yoda's lap!
posted by houseofdanie at 5:31 PM on December 8, 2012


I'm serously having trouble figuring out which pin to have in my lapel for this.
posted by The Whelk at 5:34 PM on December 8, 2012


mrz, you should just arrive after everyone's been seated and be all "Oh my god, what are you guys doing here? I'm so surprised to run into you! All of you!"
posted by rtha at 5:40 PM on December 8, 2012


Oh god they had a Diners, Drive-Ins, And Dive MARATHON on today (it's like they knew) and I was positioned right in front of a TV showing it for my gym runnings time and HOLT UNSPEAKABLENESS I HAD NO IDEA.
posted by The Whelk at 6:15 PM on December 8, 2012


obvsly you should wear the howling commandos pin

how is this even a question
posted by elizardbits at 8:02 PM on December 8, 2012


It's the SSR and yes of course.

I'll leave the rest of the uniform at home tho.
posted by The Whelk at 8:29 PM on December 8, 2012


I don't think I have ever been as excited about a meetup I'm not even coming to before.
posted by grouse at 11:24 PM on December 8, 2012 [3 favorites]


I HAVEN'T SLEPT FROM EXCITEMENT.

Also from partying partying yeah. Partying partying yeah.
posted by davidjmcgee at 3:20 AM on December 9, 2012


Can I take your place? I'm in town for a job interview so I wanted to meet up with some native MeFites. Did I mention today is my birthday?
posted by unannihilated at 5:38 AM on December 9, 2012


I can hardly tell my slammas from my jammas, it's like Xmas morning but everything has flames on the side and the radio is playing a 24/7 Reel Big Fish marathon.
posted by mintcake! at 6:12 AM on December 9, 2012


lord, preserve me from this temptation.
posted by sciencegeek at 6:15 AM on December 9, 2012


Do we have a twitter hashtag for this gathering so people outside can follow along? I think we should have one. How about #MeFieri?
posted by ThePinkSuperhero at 6:36 AM on December 9, 2012 [5 favorites]


Oh, that's awesome, TPS.
posted by mintcake! at 6:38 AM on December 9, 2012


mefieri sounds like an especially unpleasant reflexive verb in Italian.

and fairly close to the French word meaning distrust
posted by sciencegeek at 6:43 AM on December 9, 2012 [1 favorite]


#MeFieri

Brilliant. I'm even gonna crank up the old Twitter account so I can follow along at home!
posted by rtha at 7:06 AM on December 9, 2012


I want you to imagine me getting ready in the morning for this like the opening to Clueless.
posted by The Whelk at 7:16 AM on December 9, 2012 [1 favorite]


YOU'RE GONNA BE A SUPERMODEL
posted by mintcake! at 7:19 AM on December 9, 2012 [1 favorite]


That is how I imagine you get ready every morning though, and I am mad that you still haven't shared your outfit matching software with the rest of us.
posted by elizardbits at 7:20 AM on December 9, 2012


YAY! Um, I don't know anyone. Are we meeting in a big group first or should I ask for the table or...*bites nails* 30 new MeFites at once. I'm nervous!

P.S. I am wearing black and white striped tights and purple shoes and will look nervous if someone could look out for me.
posted by unannihilated at 7:27 AM on December 9, 2012


Okay, so for serious, I am going to try to pop by toward the end if that would be okay? I can't eat anything so I didn't want to be a part of the reservation, but would love to at least rubberneck and meet folks?
posted by Mchelly at 7:37 AM on December 9, 2012


Okay! I have prizes. Come in your best Fieri. If you don't outwardly display Fieri, try to channel some Guy in some manner by spitting as you speak, coining an obnoxious but sticky phrase to describe a food item, or quickly erecting something large and bright in Times Square. SEE YOU THERE!
posted by houseofdanie at 7:39 AM on December 9, 2012


Are we meeting in a big group first or should I ask for the table or...

It's going to be three tables full of Internet People. I can almost guarantee you will not mix us up with any of the other clientele.
posted by griphus at 8:14 AM on December 9, 2012 [4 favorites]


Okay, due to bus paranoia I've arrived in NYC two hours early. Is there anything to do in this bum town or should I quietly watch Spongebob Squarepants at the station until it's Coagulation Time?
posted by Rory Marinich at 8:55 AM on December 9, 2012 [1 favorite]


Go to the huge Toys R Us in times square.
posted by The Whelk at 9:00 AM on December 9, 2012


Ooh yes! I'll just sit on the ferris wheel, spitting at children. That's Fieri-like, yes? I don't really have a good Fieriesque outfit in my wardrobe, I'm afraid.
posted by Rory Marinich at 9:04 AM on December 9, 2012


You should dance really seriously and dramatically through times square and for every tourist who asks you if you are filming something, you get 1 point. For every local who asks, you get 5 points. For anyone who nervously asks you for your autograph, you get 10.

then eat some candy because of reasons
posted by elizardbits at 9:19 AM on December 9, 2012 [1 favorite]


I actually I'm planning on filming something
posted by The Whelk at 9:28 AM on December 9, 2012


I'll be taking the newhaven line in to GCT, then over to times square, so it looks like I'll be a few minutes late (thats what you new yorkers do anyway, right?).

But I will be there.
posted by mrzarquon at 9:30 AM on December 9, 2012


For the purposes of liveblogging the event, there's now a MeTa.
posted by griphus at 9:38 AM on December 9, 2012


Wait filming something at toys r us? Whelk are you in toys r us? Can I be in your film?
posted by Rory Marinich at 9:39 AM on December 9, 2012


Rory ill make you a star
posted by The Whelk at 9:42 AM on December 9, 2012 [1 favorite]


I'm in the Weehawken ferry terminal, waiting for the 1pm to midtown. I have nothing Fieri-ish to wear, decided on my odd brown hat, a Bad Wolf Doctor Who shirt, and rings on every finger (though one seems to have gotten lost already in the walk from the parking lot). I also have my giant umbrella, which will be useful for the walking and waiting, and utterly in the way once we're seated. So excited!
posted by oh yeah! at 9:56 AM on December 9, 2012


I'm not dressed like a weirdo but I plan to make lots of bad jokes on twitter!
posted by Potomac Avenue at 10:04 AM on December 9, 2012


And probably get drunk on something colorful!
posted by Potomac Avenue at 10:05 AM on December 9, 2012


And hug Rory until he's like Ok enough hugging!
posted by Potomac Avenue at 10:05 AM on December 9, 2012


See you all soon! Gonna get a first dose of caffeine so I will be properly awakened prior.
posted by computech_apolloniajames at 10:06 AM on December 9, 2012


I WILL NEVER SAY THAT
posted by Rory Marinich at 10:06 AM on December 9, 2012


Running 5 minutes late. Save me a seat.
posted by Hactar at 10:17 AM on December 9, 2012


HUGEATERS PARTY OF 2
posted by Potomac Avenue at 10:17 AM on December 9, 2012


So nice to see/meet you all! Let's do it again sometime!
posted by ThePinkSuperhero at 3:12 PM on December 9, 2012 [2 favorites]


Well, Yes and No.

Yes if it means hanging out with you folks (I'm here until Jan 8th). No if it means eating at Guy's again.
posted by mrzarquon at 4:09 PM on December 9, 2012 [1 favorite]


Next one will be at Bubba Gump, then.
posted by griphus at 4:24 PM on December 9, 2012


hay guise i heard of this nifty restaurant

it is called chuck e cheese

i think it sounds like fun times
posted by elizardbits at 5:50 PM on December 9, 2012


Oh man this woukd've been ten times better with a ball pit.
posted by The Whelk at 5:51 PM on December 9, 2012


You're a birthday star with Chuck E. Cheese
You're a special guest, we all aim to please
You're a big time, big star, goin' far
Here's to you our birthday star
posted by shakespeherian at 6:00 PM on December 9, 2012


> Oh man this woukd've been ten times better with a ball pit.

What isn't?
posted by mrzarquon at 6:06 PM on December 9, 2012


Yes I agree! You were all much fun and it would be nice to do this again.

Oh man this woukd've been ten times better with a ball pit.

If we can get this many people again I propose we find a room somewhere to fill up with balloons, because that's like having a ball pit but THERE IS ENOUGH OF THEM TO LIVE INSIDE.

Literally fill up, though. Like up to the very top. Also it would have to be a room with a window because otherwise people will suffocate. I made that mistake once.
posted by Rory Marinich at 8:19 PM on December 9, 2012 [1 favorite]


this is nyc, there are plenty of rooms that can be filled entirely with like 3 dozen standard sized balloons. some of these rooms are occupied by multiple roommates each pay $1,000 for the privilege.
posted by elizardbits at 8:26 PM on December 9, 2012


yeah but would any of those roommates, like, not charge us any money for giving them free millions of blaloons
posted by Rory Marinich at 8:46 PM on December 9, 2012


dudes the answer to this, like all things, is a huge bouncy castle.
posted by The Whelk at 8:55 PM on December 9, 2012


there was a bouncy castle outside the school across the street from my office a few months back. i was late to work becaue i tried to sneak onto the bouncy castle.

sigh
posted by elizardbits at 9:00 PM on December 9, 2012


you know as an adult you can rent your own bouncy castle, let them judge, they don't even have a bouncy castle.
posted by The Whelk at 9:04 PM on December 9, 2012


I suddenly have the great need to fill a bouncy castle with helium.
posted by shakespeherian at 9:15 PM on December 9, 2012


Stay out of Bubba Gump! Please. Trust me never go there!
posted by Splunge at 9:51 PM on December 9, 2012


I suddenly have the great need to fill a bouncy castle with helium.


oh my god we could have a bouncy castle party but IN THE SKY
posted by Rory Marinich at 10:01 PM on December 9, 2012


and even then we wouldn't be as high as you are right now
posted by elizardbits at 6:34 AM on December 10, 2012


You're a birthday star with Chuck E. Cheese
You're a special guest, we all aim to please
You're a big time, big star, goin' far
Here's to you our birthday star


Bowie's lyrics got pretty fucking lazy in the early '80s, huh?
posted by mintcake! at 7:10 AM on December 10, 2012 [4 favorites]


sleep-deprived is the best drug, eliz
posted by Rory Marinich at 8:32 AM on December 10, 2012


Instead of working, I am Googling "bouncy castle weight limit" and things of that sort. One site lists 160 lbs., but one site has bouncers that'll handle up to 250 lbs. per attendee! I feel an idea for a meetup coming on.
posted by houseofdanie at 12:12 PM on December 10, 2012 [1 favorite]


guys I turned the meetup into a movie



ACTUAL FOOTAGE OF ACTUAL MEFITES
posted by The Whelk at 1:57 PM on December 10, 2012 [5 favorites]


Those can't be MeFites they are far too attractive
posted by shakespeherian at 2:27 PM on December 10, 2012


"you idiots, you didn't film them! you filmed their stunt doubles!"
posted by The Whelk at 2:30 PM on December 10, 2012


Guy's American: Bring a Stunt Doubleā„¢
posted by shakespeherian at 2:36 PM on December 10, 2012


Bloomberg BusinessWeek: Guy Fieri's Restaurant: 'Ironic Dining' Mecca
posted by grouse at 11:19 AM on December 12, 2012



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