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Potluck on the Lower East Side! [NOT FIERI-IST]
posted December 14, 2012 8:08 AM   RSS | iCal | +googleCal

Sun January 13 at 3:00 PM, Rivington 151
151 Rivington Street, New York, NY, USA (Map & Directions)
After the success of the Fieri meetup, plus the middling quality of its food, there has been talk of a Fieri-themed potluck, in which we out-Fieri the Fieri. For this, newpotato has graciously suggested that we might use her bar, Rivington 151.
If you wish to come, and enjoy cooking thematically, please bring something inspired by Guy Fieri's menu, or by his secret menu.

Alternatively, you can bring something that has nothing to do with deep-fried calorically-dense cheese-melted sugar spice oil crisps; if you decide to bring a more tasteful dish than anything Mr. Fieri would make, we will not turn you away. We will instead welcome you with open arms and smiling faces.

If you already know what you'd like to cook, please note it below, so as to prevent 20 people all showing up with the same kickin' jalapeño slam-jam green-bean casserole.
posted by Greg Nog to Meetup (315 comments total) 4 users marked this as a favorite

ALREADY RESEARCHING HOW TO DEEP FRY CAVIAR
posted by griphus at 8:13 AM on December 14, 2012


Oh my goodness.
posted by Rory Marinich at 8:25 AM on December 14, 2012


Brainstorm foods that are on the menu that can be served room temperature......now!
posted by The Whelk at 8:35 AM on December 14, 2012


I'm pretty sure all the foods on the menu were served at room temperature.
posted by griphus at 9:02 AM on December 14, 2012 [1 favorite]


I have a yen to make sliced honey roasted ham but I don't want to leave out our kosher/ halal/ Veggie friends.


Also we need a new opening scene to ape.
posted by The Whelk at 9:08 AM on December 14, 2012


As a person who loves to make fun of Food Network people, I really, really want to go. But I am worried about the logistical aspects of carrying a culinary eldrich horror from the burbs over to the city.

This is so tempting, I might just say to hell with it all and do it.
posted by mccarty.tim at 9:59 AM on December 14, 2012 [1 favorite]


I have contemplated this with my roommate and we feel that NYC is sadly too far to travel with a culinary abomination in stow – but! We think we'd like to cook a dish that resembles Guy Fieri's head, feed it to a coven of stoners, and prepare a video for those of you fortunate enough to attend. Would this be an acceptable offering?
posted by Rory Marinich at 10:02 AM on December 14, 2012 [3 favorites]


Okay, tentative yes. How do I plus one? Jquery messed up for a second there.
posted by mccarty.tim at 10:03 AM on December 14, 2012


(the hair will be made of frosted bugles)
posted by Rory Marinich at 10:04 AM on December 14, 2012 [1 favorite]


Heh, that reminds me of a fake life event I did when Facebook started Timeline and I thought it was dumb.

Among things like "Quit sniffing glue (on the wrong week)" and "Quit habits (the nuns told me to stop taking their clothes)," I also noted that I became a narcitarian, meaning I only eat food in my image. That burger had best have my face drawn in mustard!

What if we were to harness the power of G+ hangouts/skype/tinychat/etc and make every town a Flavortown through video conferencing?
posted by mccarty.tim at 10:06 AM on December 14, 2012


I can't make the 13th, but I'll throw out my offer from the other thread:

I have a buffet server with electric warming tray like this and a triple-burnered-slow-cooking-thing like this that handily keeps things warm. If anyone would like to borrow either or both for the event, I can drop off sometime before the 8th.

For drinkin' purposes, I also have three of these beverage dispensers and a ridiculous list of cocktails-for-a-crowd recipes.
posted by houseofdanie at 10:12 AM on December 14, 2012


For those daunted by the prospect of matching the dish-naming prowess of THE FIERI or anxious about making an iffy showing among NYC MeFi's culinary elite, maybe start off with a little Rachael Ray?

Recipe for Pineapple Wedges
Ingredients: 1 whole ripe pineapple

Recipe for Late Night Bacon
Ingredients: bacon

(Don't miss the comments.)
posted by houseofdanie at 10:17 AM on December 14, 2012 [1 favorite]


I love frying things but they don't travel well.
posted by grobstein at 10:24 AM on December 14, 2012


Once I get on winter break, I might fire up the text editor and see if I can make a Guy Fierri dish generator single serving web page. While I like markovs, I'm not thinking they'd work, so expect a mad-lib style thing.
posted by mccarty.tim at 10:26 AM on December 14, 2012


I was going to bring a catering sized bucket of lard, I hope this is okay with everyone.
posted by elizardbits at 10:34 AM on December 14, 2012


I might just say to hell with it all and do it.

If anyone is on the fence I'm sure it'll be fine if you bring chips and dip and your own lovely self.
posted by The Whelk at 10:35 AM on December 14, 2012


I was going to bring a catering sized bucket of lard, I hope this is okay with everyone.

Perfect, I'll bring the bacon fat to fry it in.
posted by griphus at 10:35 AM on December 14, 2012


Render unto Mefites what is lard.
posted by The Whelk at 10:37 AM on December 14, 2012 [1 favorite]


I just made deep-fried butter recently, and it turned out fairly well! It was a Paula Deen recipe, naturally.

I'm thinking about making open-faced buffalo/blue-cheese crispy tempeh sliders for this thing.
posted by Greg Nog at 10:49 AM on December 14, 2012 [1 favorite]


I'm in, and whatever I bring will be vegetarian as well.
posted by mintcake! at 11:03 AM on December 14, 2012


I'LL MAKE COCKTAILS
posted by griphus at 11:17 AM on December 14, 2012 [1 favorite]


Kwanzaa will be over, BTW, so it'd be culturally insensitive to bring the Sandra Lee Kwanzaa cake then.

Or really any other time.
posted by mccarty.tim at 12:12 PM on December 14, 2012


MEFITES WITH VIDEO CAMERAS OR CAMERAS THAT SHOOT VIDEO:

Could you please send me video of yourself cooking your pot-luck dishes, ideally extreme close-ups of the food being prepared with emphasis on cutting, tying, fork-poking, spice-grinding, potato mashing, juices dripping, hams sweating- we shouldn't see more of than your hands, ideally. These can be short, only a few seconds.
posted by The Whelk at 12:15 PM on December 14, 2012 [2 favorites]


make your own porn, dude
posted by elizardbits at 5:26 PM on December 14, 2012 [5 favorites]


Put me down as a maybe. It's a little too far ahead for me to know, but I like making silly foods and hanging out. If I do make it I think I might bring:

THE BBB PUDDING
A.K.A., the "Breakfast, Bacon and Bread Pudding." Who says dessert needs to come last? And breakfast is the most important meal of the day, so why not just combine the two? Stuff this take on a classic comfort dessert into your fat mouth and "Bbbbbb..." is exactly the sound your face will be making.

Also if there's any other plans for video shenanigans at the potluck I'd like to be on the excluded list.
posted by kkokkodalk at 8:59 PM on December 14, 2012


Oops, that came out wrong. I meant excluded as in not videoed.
posted by kkokkodalk at 9:13 PM on December 14, 2012


I actually am working on the procedural Guy Fierri food generator program. An early taste:

Cajun Balut
Appatehtically fried Balut with fries

Rockstar Shrimp
Sad Shrimp with Donkey Sauce

Vegan Potatoes
Grilled Potatoes with fries
posted by mccarty.tim at 9:29 PM on December 14, 2012


Preferences noted and logged.

And yeah I'm pretty sure I'm going to be bringing roast ham in some form, with some more veggie friendly side dish maybe.
posted by The Whelk at 9:33 PM on December 14, 2012


If anyone is actually interested in duplicating Fieri food, NYPL has some of his cookbooks. I have this strange urge to at least read one.
posted by sciencegeek at 4:17 AM on December 15, 2012


I MIGHT attempt Scotch Eggs.

Not on Guy's menu, but they are indeed deep-fried and have the advantage of actually tasting good; they're also usually served with some kind of sauce or mustard, and I can try to hack Donkey Sauce as well as bringing mustard.

...I may also just go with fried oysters. Fried something. I'll work on this.
posted by EmpressCallipygos at 4:19 AM on December 15, 2012


If all else fails, I will definitely be able to bring donkey sauce.

(Note: I am NOT kidding.)
posted by EmpressCallipygos at 4:21 AM on December 15, 2012 [1 favorite]


After the last meet up I spent the next week or so resisting the urge to crumble goldfish crackers over everything. I will try to summon that mood back up to do this right.

So right now I am leaning towards a Mac and Cheese-type dish but maybe I can come up with something better.

Also I have a slow-cooker with a nice clamp-on lid that makes it eas(ier) to travel with so I might bring that, too.
posted by mountmccabe at 5:48 AM on December 15, 2012


I'm bringing cookies. I will probably make them garish with food coloring.
posted by ocherdraco at 7:05 AM on December 15, 2012


Not sure what to make but I will figure it out by the 13th!
posted by mlle valentine at 7:58 AM on December 15, 2012


I wish there was some way to outlaw that terrible terrible conflation and conjoining of the words, 'donkey" and 'sauce.'
posted by Skygazer at 9:29 AM on December 15, 2012 [1 favorite]


So sad that I missed the Fieri event, hope I'll be able to make this one. I plan on making something more expensive and yet demonstrably worse than anything Guy could come up with, just to balance things out.
posted by Consonants Without Vowels at 12:14 PM on December 15, 2012


I'm going to make Guy's Huli Huli chicken, but it's really a honey-ginger garlic chicken dish I like to make and a pan of white rice because the sauce is banging.
posted by spec80 at 1:18 PM on December 15, 2012


Oh and thank you so much, newpotato for hosting and gregnog for organizing!!
posted by spec80 at 1:21 PM on December 15, 2012


Does anyone own an onion bloomer?
posted by griphus at 1:35 PM on December 15, 2012


Griphus, I do. But it's stupidly small and doesn't work very well. It's actually the second one I've tried before finding it easier and faster to just use a knife, so I can use an impressively large onion and make a beautiful... onion... flower. ANYWAY:

1. Cut the top (pointy end) off yo' onion and remove the skin. Leave the flat end intact. (__) Here's the shape of your onion now.

2. Optional: With the tip of your knife (or a paring knife), take the core out of the onion. If you don't do this now, it'll pull away fairly easily later.

3. Make an x-shaped cut from the flat top of the onion to about 1/2" from the root. Now you have four sections that are still held together at the bottom.

4. It's easiest to avoid section chaos and accidental slicing into the base if you now cut each quarter individually. Aim for 16 slices total. If you didn't take the core out first, take it out now.

5. Put your onion in a bowl of ice water for a few minutes to help the "petals" open up. If you have a stiff onion (er), you can dip it into boiling water for a minute or so to soften it a tad before plunging it back into ice water.
posted by houseofdanie at 3:41 PM on December 15, 2012 [2 favorites]


In. Neither I nor my lady can cook so how about cookies with snickers baked in them or something?
posted by Potomac Avenue at 7:16 PM on December 15, 2012


YES PLEASE
posted by mintcake! at 8:20 PM on December 15, 2012


The last time I fried something I spent 5 hours making wontons and everything I owned smelled like fried stuff for 5 days. So, yeah, I might bake or sautee instead. Plus I have to do something with this damn artisanal sriracha.
posted by loriginedumonde at 8:58 PM on December 15, 2012


I'm going to miss Snickers cookies? Can we have the "best of" repeated for the next one? I'll bring my best cocktails. I'll get you all drunk as f. I'll even make delicious meatless things for my prized mintcake(!) if someone makes Snickers cookies when I can come.
posted by houseofdanie at 10:38 PM on December 15, 2012


Looking through Guy's recipes on the food network site... I'll bring some kind of vegetarian pasta salad. If I feel ambitious I might also make a garlic onion tortilla cake.

I also have most of a thing of Tang left from baking for the holiday meetup so that might just, uh, show up. Or I will torture you with more Tang-based desserts!
posted by (Over) Thinking at 7:02 AM on December 16, 2012 [1 favorite]


Here is a terrible thing I made in probably less than an hour using cursory knowledge of JS.

Seriously, I'm sorry.
posted by mccarty.tim at 9:20 AM on December 16, 2012 [4 favorites]


Hey folks, don't know if you're interested or not, I brought it up in the other thread; I can do a customized cocktail list for the event.

My idea for one of the drinks is a holiday drink I came up with that is appropriately both indulgent and bitter. It combines Fernet Branca, creme de cacao, and heavy cream stirred together with a cinnamon stick. It's actually quite tasty if you like that sort of thing.
I have yet to name it.

I'll put together a drink menu of about five or so drinks if you guys give me some suggestions.
posted by newpotato at 4:16 PM on December 16, 2012 [4 favorites]


Ooh, anything with green Chartreuse would be fantastique.
posted by mintcake! at 7:04 PM on December 16, 2012


the presence of heavy cream means that for me it would best be called DEMON BUTT
posted by elizardbits at 8:00 PM on December 16, 2012 [1 favorite]


Sour cream cocktails.

Make it happen people.
posted by The Whelk at 8:03 PM on December 16, 2012


I just realized that donkey sauce was a real thing. I assumed this was a joke, like somebody said, "Oh, my God, this sauce tastes like ass!" and thereafter it was "ass sauce" until you realized you couldn't go around saying "ass" every time you wanted to talk about this guy's restaurant, so you bowdlerized it a little and came up with "donkey sauce."

But, no, it's actually just called donkey sauce.

I've been meaning to make a pineapple upside down cake. This will be a good excuse.
posted by d. z. wang at 8:31 PM on December 16, 2012


Um, I think DEMON BUTT sounds kinda sexy...
posted by Skygazer at 10:48 PM on December 16, 2012


I haven't had enough Chambourd in my life lately. I'm sure you can do something horrific with it.
posted by loriginedumonde at 11:05 PM on December 16, 2012


Er, by horrific I mean it's weird color can make for some interesting drinks. Damn you, edit button.
posted by loriginedumonde at 11:13 PM on December 16, 2012


I've realized that transporting Scotch eggs would be tough, so I'm going to amend my declaration to "I will bring donkey sauce, but also some homemade mustard and homemade pickles."

Somehow the idea of bringing nothing but condiments is strangely appealing.
posted by EmpressCallipygos at 1:14 AM on December 17, 2012


My go to beach potluck dish over the summer was vegetarian pulled pork sliders. I think they would be made more terrific-er with homemade pickles, EC.

I don't know what to do with Donkey Sauce.

As part of a shot a la Picklebacks maybe?
posted by newpotato at 5:33 AM on December 17, 2012


OMG. yes. yes yes. I should be able to do this. and am up for any culinary challenge.

I'm happy to execute whichever absurd recipe The People clamour for.
posted by larthegreat at 7:40 AM on December 17, 2012


I don't know what to do with Donkey Sauce.

Actually, going by the recipe I found, it...could actually not be bad. The main ingredients seem to be garlic and mayo, which makes it sort of like an aioli.

....And talking about condiments has put this moment from "Whose Line Is It Anyway."

"Relish! Mustard! Ketchup and cheese!"
posted by EmpressCallipygos at 7:58 AM on December 17, 2012


I'll put together a drink menu of about five or so drinks if you guys give me some suggestions.

Something horrifically bright! Blue, perhaps! Or TEAL
posted by Greg Nog at 8:54 AM on December 17, 2012 [1 favorite]


Perhaps a blue, a green and a grey drink.

And of course a professional white drink.
posted by newpotato at 9:27 AM on December 17, 2012 [1 favorite]


It combines Fernet Branca, creme de cacao, and heavy cream stirred together with a cinnamon stick. It's actually quite tasty if you like that sort of thing.

I will eat a box of Lactaid to try one of these.
posted by griphus at 10:13 PM on December 17, 2012


Lactaid makes a good chaser.

In which case, how about some drinks that can be set on fire. Those are always classy.
posted by Skygazer at 11:29 PM on December 17, 2012


we will be able to set the entire bar on fire if griphus has dairy products
posted by elizardbits at 8:36 AM on December 18, 2012 [1 favorite]


I'm imagining pouring a gallon of milk on the bar and setting it alight.
posted by The Whelk at 9:49 AM on December 18, 2012 [1 favorite]


Since I only missed the last one because of the kosher thing (which here will not be an issue, YAY), I am thinking of something along the lines of a flaming kugel.
posted by Mchelly at 5:29 PM on December 19, 2012


Does anyone belong to Sam's Club?
posted by spec80 at 6:55 PM on December 19, 2012


It's a gift that just keeps on giving.
posted by The Whelk at 8:38 PM on December 19, 2012


Hmmmm, not sure how I'm feeling about all this talk about lighting the bar on fire... But I suppose if it's to toast marshmallows for a s'more's pizza concoction....well have at it!
posted by newpotato at 6:06 AM on December 20, 2012 [1 favorite]


"S'mores Indoors" is an anagram of "Moron's Dossier."
posted by griphus at 6:43 AM on December 20, 2012 [1 favorite]


doom sorriness
posted by sciencegeek at 6:46 AM on December 20, 2012


Mordor is noses
posted by Mchelly at 7:33 AM on December 20, 2012


Mordor is noses

can this be our secret pass-phrase into the bar?
posted by The Whelk at 8:30 AM on December 20, 2012


"The sun is shining..."
"...but Mordor is noses."
posted by griphus at 8:55 AM on December 20, 2012


a bumper sticker ala "Ithaca is gorges"
posted by The Whelk at 8:58 AM on December 20, 2012


I have decided on honey sriracha wings. Or honey sriracha brussel sprouts for the non-meat eaters. Or both. Or neither.
posted by loriginedumonde at 8:45 AM on December 21, 2012


It is my one regret that I do not have enough time to make greasy honky pie.
posted by The Whelk at 8:48 AM on December 21, 2012


I think I will go with slider ingredients: root beer braised pulled pork for carnivores and vegetarian barbequed pulled pork for the vegetarians amongst us. With some type of fennel slaw to top them off with.

And maybe the gprgonzola/endive/shiitake pasta bake thing if I feel really ambitious. Or all. Or none.
posted by newpotato at 1:35 PM on December 21, 2012


How long does greasy honky pie take to make?
posted by newpotato at 1:36 PM on December 21, 2012


GREASY HONKY PIE
posted by The Whelk at 1:47 PM on December 21, 2012 [1 favorite]


it's been a while and i've never made it sober, but iirc it's like 20 minutes prep time and 30 in the oven? you should bake the tots first if you're using frozen ones, obvsly. since each ingredient is already cooked separately, you just want enough time to make all the deliciousness ooze together, and enough time to make the cheez on top become lavalike and crusty.
posted by elizardbits at 5:07 PM on December 21, 2012


JESUS, WHY DON'T YOU PEOPLE TELL ME ABOUT THESE THINGS?!
posted by computech_apolloniajames at 4:20 PM on December 23, 2012


it was going to be a surprise
posted by elizardbits at 5:06 PM on December 24, 2012 [1 favorite]


Guys guys we have something to celebrate.

DOCTOR FLAVORTOWN
posted by griphus at 5:45 PM on December 26, 2012


I NEVER LIKED YOUR SPINACH PUFFS
posted by elizardbits at 7:17 PM on December 27, 2012


Is there a Google spreadsheet with what everyone is bringing yet? This is a semi-serious question because I haven't kept up with this thread because OMG, I just got married and my new husband accepted a job offer in Minneapolis, so we're moving at the end of January and I'm still having a wedding party in October 2013 because why not and I want to see most, if not all of you before I leave, so this is a great way to do it and my husband makes a killer pecan pie with cayenne pepper and I can do a casserole, but OMG, what if everyone's bringing casserole...

Um, or maybe I could read this thread when I get home and create the document myself?
posted by TrishaLynn at 6:00 AM on December 28, 2012


There is no such document yet, but it sounds like a good idea; you'd be welcome to make one!
posted by Greg Nog at 8:42 AM on December 28, 2012


Yeah, great idea TrishaLynn, otherwise everyone's just going to bring in an over thunk plate of beans.

Or Greasy Honky Pie. Thaaat just flows off the tongue so nicely...

Greasy....

Honky...

PIE!!

Makes my mouth water and triggers a gag reflex all at once.
posted by Skygazer at 4:11 PM on December 28, 2012


Um, yeah, so I made the Google Doc spreadsheet.

I'll try and keep it current, but that means I have to keep reading this thread, don't I?
posted by TrishaLynn at 7:21 PM on December 28, 2012


a note for the google doc: I will NOT be making fried oysters.

A further note: despite the name, Donkey Sauce is probably vegetarian-friendly, although not vegan-friendly (it contains mayo and Worcestershire sauce; mayo has egg, and Worcestershire sauce has anchovy).
posted by EmpressCallipygos at 10:26 PM on December 28, 2012


I'm coming to NYC that weekend for an interview. It would be a lot of fun to join the meetup, but I can't really bring food across the atlantic or make it in my hotel room. Perhaps I can give someone else a hand in the kitchen instead? If any of you could use a sous-chef, an assistant or a dishwasher, please send me a mefi-mail!
posted by springload at 6:38 AM on December 29, 2012


you can serve my salad.
posted by The Whelk at 3:03 PM on December 29, 2012


I can't tell if that's a terrible euphemism or not.
posted by elizardbits at 3:55 PM on December 29, 2012


waldorfing.
posted by The Whelk at 3:56 PM on December 29, 2012


You can join me in bringing cheese crackers! (That's what I'm bringing)
posted by the young rope-rider at 4:00 PM on December 29, 2012


You can arrange them on a plate (not sure if I have a plate)
posted by the young rope-rider at 4:07 PM on December 29, 2012


im bringing disposable wooden plates. i have so many.
posted by The Whelk at 4:21 PM on December 29, 2012 [1 favorite]


Worcestershire sauce has anchovy

Then it's not 'vegetarian-friendly.'
posted by mintcake! at 7:05 PM on December 29, 2012 [1 favorite]


Also: I am making vegetarian (not vegan) Greasy Honky Pie. LET'S DO THIS, NEW YORK AND NEW JERSEY.
posted by mintcake! at 7:10 PM on December 29, 2012


I'm throwing some ideas around in my head.

It's like a food fight in there. My brain is having a food fight with itself.

Thing is, I have such a lousy oven that smokes like crazy, if I turn it on for anything longer than five minutes...
posted by Skygazer at 8:06 PM on December 29, 2012


Hey, how close to the event can one RSVP? I work on Sundays, until at least 3 or 4. Also, I am beyond shy with strangers, but I love potlucks, and cooking. No guarantee that what I make would be über-trashy, though it might be.
posted by zorseshoes at 8:10 PM on December 29, 2012


My thought about that salad is the same as elizardbits'. I'll proudly arrange the young rope-rider's crackers though, unless someone else picks up on the offer.
posted by springload at 6:43 AM on December 30, 2012


zorseshoes, I think it's okay to RSVP pretty late or just show up--but I think newpotato would have to weigh in on that, as our gracious hostess.
posted by the young rope-rider at 10:33 AM on December 30, 2012


so jealous
posted by threeants at 1:28 PM on December 30, 2012 [1 favorite]


Um, is it too late for me to say that now it looks like I'll be able to attend this monstrous event? I currently have about a dozen ghost peppers I'm trying to turn into chili, and feel a properly scorching chili is somehow a good refutation of Guy and of that stupid jalapeño drink I got at his restaurant. (Note: I will not be using all dozen peppers, as I am not a cruel man.)
posted by Rory Marinich at 8:19 AM on December 31, 2012


JOIN USSSSSS
posted by The Whelk at 9:32 AM on December 31, 2012


Okay, upon checking with Ashley (Lee Shore on MeFi but she doesn't post often) it looks like we'll be coming to this, bearing gifts of chili and perhaps something else. Depending on how hungry we are when planning foodstuffs on Saturday.

I'll see if my roommate is still up for cooking the Guy Fieri Head but that would be hard to carry up to New York.
posted by Rory Marinich at 10:26 AM on December 31, 2012


Just brought home the Guy Fieri cookbook from the library. I sort of fear opening it. Will demons fly out or just soggy fries?

Sentient soggy fries are now my new nightmare.
posted by sciencegeek at 2:27 PM on December 31, 2012


You open it and there is the spooky voice of the unquiet dead

Madness

Beware

Madness

Fried oysters

Potato skins

Beware

Flash frozen microwave Mac and cheese

Madness
posted by The Whelk at 2:34 PM on December 31, 2012


Spreadsheet has been updated! Let's just say that I'll be updating this every other evening before midnight, okay?
posted by TrishaLynn at 6:26 PM on December 31, 2012


I don't think an RSVP is necessary at all.

For the non cooking amongst us a wedge of cheese, tub of nuts, or bag of chips, etc. is always nice.
posted by newpotato at 7:53 AM on January 1, 2013


Okay, I am going to bring a bunch of Russian Stuff because I am not great at cooking.

Salo, caviar, asstd. pickles, etc.
posted by griphus at 10:49 AM on January 1, 2013


I like how you linked to the wiki article in case anyone was wondering why you were bringing a hilariously terrible porn from the 70s.
posted by elizardbits at 11:04 AM on January 1, 2013


I'm pretty sure that dish is technically speaking pornographic.
posted by The Whelk at 11:08 AM on January 1, 2013


Salo, or 120 Plates Of Lardon
posted by Greg Nog at 3:18 PM on January 1, 2013 [3 favorites]


The beast with two fatbacks
posted by The Whelk at 3:19 PM on January 1, 2013 [2 favorites]


If anyone wants to request a particular Eastern European foodstuff, I can see if I can find it.
posted by griphus at 3:19 PM on January 1, 2013


That fried chicken encrusted with cornflakes I had in Kuta Hira would be nice.
posted by The Whelk at 3:21 PM on January 1, 2013


I'd love to come up from Baltimore for this if someone has a couch I can crash on. I could bring various obnoxious Baltimore foodstuffs.
posted by youcancallmeal at 7:23 PM on January 1, 2013


Ah yes, who hasn't longed for The Legendary Fried Chicken of Kuta Hira? I remember it like it was yesterday . . .

{Dissolve to dream sequence}
posted by Skygazer at 10:27 AM on January 2, 2013 [1 favorite]


I'd love to have you crash on my couch, but I'm not sure how you feel about a mandatory wakeup time that is anywhere from 5am to 6am...!
posted by the young rope-rider at 12:50 PM on January 2, 2013


Having missed the original Mefieri meetup in all its glory, I'm not sure what to make. Any suggestions?
posted by mlle valentine at 1:32 PM on January 2, 2013


Mlle valentine, this video describes the food at the original meetup.

Cold fried chicken is always welcome.
posted by The Whelk at 1:46 PM on January 2, 2013


Can you make an onion ring that tastes like it was pulled out of the time machine in Primer?
posted by griphus at 1:46 PM on January 2, 2013 [2 favorites]


No good at fried things I'm afraid. Will have to check out video when not at work!
posted by mlle valentine at 1:50 PM on January 2, 2013


When in doubt, bring nuts. Everyone likes nuts, even vegans like nuts.
posted by The Whelk at 1:54 PM on January 2, 2013


Customs regulations don't seem as strict as I first thought, so I'll bring a piece of Västerbotten cheese over from Sweden.
posted by springload at 2:22 PM on January 2, 2013


Hooray!
posted by ocherdraco at 6:09 PM on January 2, 2013


This looks so awesome that I seriously want to fly in from SF just to experience the not fieri-ist masterpieces!
posted by zachlipton at 1:32 AM on January 3, 2013


> Worcestershire sauce has anchovy

Then it's not 'vegetarian-friendly.'


Hey, if the Moosewood people include fish as part of a vegetarian diet, then....Also, I'm sure the proportion of anchovy in the amount of Worcestershire sauce I would be adding to this is nigh unto insignificant.

But you make a good point; the donkey sauce does contain eggs and anchovy in trace amounts, so those with dietary concerns, there you are.

Although I can attest it contains no donkey.
posted by EmpressCallipygos at 8:44 AM on January 3, 2013


Vegetarians don't eat meat. Fish = meat. It's 100% that simple. :)
posted by mintcake! at 1:31 PM on January 3, 2013


i know more vegetarians that eat fish than ones who do not, actually. i now live in constant fear of the mysterious fishtree.
posted by elizardbits at 8:36 PM on January 3, 2013


Hey does this thing have a name? Like, The Flavortown Survivors (and Friends) Not Fieri-Ist Potluck Spectacuganza Meetup or something?

Someone please come up with something. I'm making drink menus.
posted by newpotato at 6:16 AM on January 4, 2013


newpotato, you are awesome.
posted by mintcake! at 8:04 AM on January 4, 2013 [1 favorite]


Ortolanfest 2013
posted by sciencegeek at 8:24 AM on January 4, 2013


I lobby for SON OF FLAVORTOWN myself.
posted by The Whelk at 8:32 AM on January 4, 2013


Ditto.
posted by Potomac Avenue at 8:33 AM on January 4, 2013


THE FLAVORTOWN: 1 part cold vodka, 2 parts peptobismal, add a sprig of ginger and a crawdad.
posted by Potomac Avenue at 8:34 AM on January 4, 2013


Flavortown 2: Electric Boogaloo
posted by EmpressCallipygos at 8:35 AM on January 4, 2013


The son of Flavortown cocktail should include equal parts cotton candy and marshmallow vodka and crystal hot sauce..
posted by The Whelk at 8:46 AM on January 4, 2013


Someone please come up with something.

Postflavortown Prëeschaton Prandium
posted by Greg Nog at 9:45 AM on January 4, 2013


Oh, speaking of vegetarianism, I should note that the "buffalo" in my sliders is a reference to the sauce, not the animal. The sliders will be vegetarian but not vegan (they'll have dairy in them, from the blue cheese). If I'm feelin' feisty, though, I may also make some beef trigona without dairy, to accommodate those who do eat meat but do not eat lactose.
posted by Greg Nog at 9:51 AM on January 4, 2013


I will try and come........and bring the Quintessential English dish: baked condescension.
posted by lalochezia at 2:26 PM on January 5, 2013


You're bringing a old Deadhead?
posted by griphus at 3:40 PM on January 5, 2013


I just had literally the best fish and chips in the known universe so I can cry foul.


Also the ideal English dish includes something pickled.
posted by The Whelk at 3:47 PM on January 5, 2013


There is an open bar. I believe that takes care of the pickling side of things nicely.

7 Day countdown to Son of Flavortown.
Contestants, start your burners....
posted by newpotato at 2:42 PM on January 6, 2013 [2 favorites]


Did you ever have anything done in your honor before, newpotato?
posted by griphus at 2:45 PM on January 6, 2013


We may have to carve some kind of crude shrine.
posted by The Whelk at 2:50 PM on January 6, 2013


As long as it's carved out of a giant block of Velveeta.
posted by newpotato at 2:59 PM on January 6, 2013


Or creamed spinach.
posted by newpotato at 3:01 PM on January 6, 2013


It's carved by Gummi artisans who work exclusively in the medium of Gummi.
posted by The Whelk at 3:09 PM on January 6, 2013 [1 favorite]


Mixed media gummi-peeps sculpture.

And keep the flame throwers away.
posted by sciencegeek at 3:46 PM on January 6, 2013


Will you two stop saying "gummi" so much?
posted by griphus at 5:14 PM on January 6, 2013


Spreadsheet has been updated! Will do one more final update on Friday, and then it's cooking time for me. I bought my potato salad ingredients over the weekend and will be it on Friday evening because the husband and I are going to a non-Wedding Industrial Complex'ed bridal expo in Williamsburg on Saturday, and then our last Gilbert and Sullivan Society production before we move to Minneapolis that night.

I am going to miss all of you SO. FREAKING. MUCH.
posted by TrishaLynn at 4:41 AM on January 7, 2013


Looking at that spreadsheet I think we should all be wearing expandable clothing that day.
posted by newpotato at 5:53 AM on January 7, 2013


There is an open bar. I believe that takes care of the pickling side of things nicely.

Or, you could go with the homemade pickles I am bringing.
posted by EmpressCallipygos at 5:59 AM on January 7, 2013


(Over) Thinking: "I also have most of a thing of Tang left from baking for the holiday meetup so that might just, uh, show up. Or I will torture you with more Tang-based desserts!"

Astronaut screwdriver

Ingredients: vodka, Tang

Recipe: Drink, I dunno, a shot or two off the top of the bottle of vodka until there's some space in the top. Add Tang, closing and shaking the bottle periodically until it's as dissolved as it's gonna get.

Optional: Watch Karmakaze's face as she realizes that it's not a joke and you actually intend to drink that.
posted by Karmakaze at 8:17 AM on January 7, 2013


I used to occasionally make screwdrivers with orange soda when I was too poor to buy actual orange juice. I called them "Philips Heads"
posted by Greg Nog at 8:25 AM on January 7, 2013 [3 favorites]


Oh I am still on the list for cocktails it seems. Uh, unless anyone actually wants me to try and make that monstrosity I linked, let's all assume I was joking.
posted by griphus at 9:21 AM on January 7, 2013


I have an idea for a really horrific/possibly good ice cream sundae thing that i believe Guy would heartily endorse that I will call "awesome" new yawk baseball Saturday sundae.
You've been warned.
it will be veg but not vegan.

Should we bring our own bowls and silverware and stuff or does the bar have some?
posted by rmless at 11:27 AM on January 7, 2013


I think it may be a good idea for a few people to bring disposable flatware/plates/etc., just to make cleanup easier.
posted by griphus at 11:51 AM on January 7, 2013


Perhaps one person could be responsible for:

-disposable bowls
-disposable plates
-silverware

ANY TAKERS, YE AMONG YOU WHO ARE NOT SO HOT AT COOKING?
posted by Greg Nog at 12:01 PM on January 7, 2013 [1 favorite]


Do people here like cannoli?

See, I basically have a connection, this guy, who knows a guy, who has a sister who's dating the Uncle, of the guy who supplies the leather for the shoe repairer for the assistant first shift baker, at a rather famed Italian cafe in Brooklyn, that makes the absolute best mini-cannoli in the City, and basically I'm wondering if I should try and get some one or two dozen of these stellar mini-cannoli for this potluck thingy...

They can be heavy with too much boozin'. But I figure since the whole thing begins at 3 PM there'll be enough time to have some desert and digesting time before the hard stuff begins to flow in a big way...

I hate to overthink a plate or two of mini-cannoli, but I'm afraid I am.

Metafilter, HOPE ME TO DECIDE IF THIS IS THE RIGHT THING TO BRING!!
posted by Skygazer at 12:57 PM on January 7, 2013


Take the cannoli
posted by The Whelk at 1:07 PM on January 7, 2013 [1 favorite]


Okay, so there may be some people here who have never had a canoli, or maybe do not even know what a canoli is. You want a canoli. It is delicious.

Also, as I can apparently withstand certain lactose-containing products after eating an equivalent weight of Lactaid, sign me up for canoli.
posted by griphus at 1:45 PM on January 7, 2013


You people and your lactose issues, I'll bring a bottle of the super strength Quebeois milk digestion pills, yer welcome.
posted by The Whelk at 1:57 PM on January 7, 2013


Also, which cafe is this? There's like a 75% chance I live walking distance from it.
posted by griphus at 2:02 PM on January 7, 2013


Can someone change what I'm bringing from Cookies to a GIANT LETTUCE SALAD? I know that's not cool but I think I won't be able to make cookies and salad is good.
posted by Potomac Avenue at 3:38 PM on January 7, 2013


Just lettuce? Or lettuce with stuff? I need to know if it's safe for vegetarians.
posted by TrishaLynn at 5:28 PM on January 7, 2013


Griphus: Also, which cafe is this?

I've said too much already. You want I should have my cannoli's broken??
posted by Skygazer at 6:06 PM on January 7, 2013


Oh yay and thank you so much for the cookie/salad switch. I think I gained a pound just reading the spreadsheet.
posted by newpotato at 8:37 PM on January 7, 2013


Optional: Watch Karmakaze's face as she realizes that it's not a joke and you actually intend to drink that.

There was a meetup that was basically just us putting tang in random drinks but we weren't adventurous enough. My new Brooklyn bar concept: TANG + BOURBON
posted by the young rope-rider at 9:01 PM on January 7, 2013


I meant to post that I'm bringing some sort of fried spicy tofu thing! It will be safe for vegans!
posted by the young rope-rider at 9:02 PM on January 7, 2013


Tang + Vodka = Space Race
posted by griphus at 9:06 PM on January 7, 2013 [1 favorite]


You had better coat the rim with pop rocks for that to work.
posted by The Whelk at 2:45 AM on January 8, 2013


Oh and it needs a neon colored garnish, maybe a jawbreaker or something.
posted by The Whelk at 2:46 AM on January 8, 2013


No wait, GUMMI space mens.
posted by The Whelk at 2:46 AM on January 8, 2013


I'm sorry. I won't be able to make this meetup. I fell last week and strained my knee. I am hobbling about with a cane and I can't figure out how to bring two large trays of food downtown without it being a huge pain in the ass.
posted by spec80 at 3:13 AM on January 8, 2013


You're over by Columbus Circle, right? If you spring for a cab down to bar, I can drop off my stuff a little early, take the train up there, and then give you a hand.
posted by griphus at 7:08 AM on January 8, 2013


gummi space men could theoretically be accomplished by removing the gummi head of the bear and replacing it with a gumball or appropriately shaped jelly bean.
posted by sciencegeek at 7:44 AM on January 8, 2013


That would be really nice of you, griphus! I am by Columbus Circle. I was planning on taking a cab anyway so that would be no problem. I'll MeMail you my cell and address. Yaaaay!
posted by spec80 at 8:17 AM on January 8, 2013


Problem solved!
posted by griphus at 8:19 AM on January 8, 2013


They are going to find that cab broken down over by the river covered in crumbs and regrets, aren't they.
posted by elizardbits at 8:24 AM on January 8, 2013


covered in crumbs and regrets

you misspelled "egrets"
posted by Greg Nog at 9:34 AM on January 8, 2013


Egrets? I've had a few.
posted by The Whelk at 9:48 AM on January 8, 2013 [1 favorite]


It will become MeFi's own version of Brick.
posted by spec80 at 10:28 AM on January 8, 2013


Hi! As a non-cooker, is there still a need for paper towels, plastic forks, knives or anything like that?
posted by cowlick at 11:07 AM on January 8, 2013


Yeah, it doesn't look like anyone spoke up for that yet, so all yours.
posted by griphus at 11:11 AM on January 8, 2013


It's better to vinaigrette something you did, than to vinaigrette something you didn't do.
posted by Skygazer at 11:12 AM on January 8, 2013


Also, spec80 is driving down and I will help her get her stuff out of the car, but can someone who isn't me MeMail her their phone number in case I get eaten by wolves egrets on the way to the meetup?
posted by griphus at 11:12 AM on January 8, 2013


Sure, cowlick! Are you a lurker? Welcome!
posted by Greg Nog at 11:20 AM on January 8, 2013


the correct spelling is "wofls"
posted by elizardbits at 11:46 AM on January 8, 2013


Thanks, Greg Nog! The spreadsheet shows a few other people bringing some forks, paper towels and stuff. I'll try and bring some extras just in case.
posted by cowlick at 12:27 PM on January 8, 2013


Just lettuce? Or lettuce with stuff? I need to know if it's safe for vegetarians.

Oh it will have meat on it obviously. What I meant to say was BLT Salad.
posted by Potomac Avenue at 5:37 PM on January 8, 2013


cowlick: I put my name down as a placeholder. Please go ahead and bring plates and forks and stuff!
posted by TrishaLynn at 8:42 PM on January 8, 2013


Yeah I'm brining some spare plates but it's not enough for everyone, feel free to bring as many as you like.

Oh and my salad is a Waldorf Salad, veggie friendly.
posted by The Whelk at 12:15 AM on January 9, 2013


I'd like to come, but I'm not sure I'll be able to cook something mass transit friendly. If I do find time, would just regular old homemade cookies be ok? Or whatever is missing last minute that can be picked up at a market on the way?
posted by Karmakaze at 6:44 AM on January 9, 2013


I missed the first meetup because it fell on a week when I had about 8 other parties to go to, and I was exhausted. But this looks too awesome not to go to. I'm in!
posted by showbiz_liz at 6:59 AM on January 9, 2013


If anyone in the Hell's Kitchen area wants a ride, MeMail me.

Also, will there be soft drinks? I can bring some bottles of still and sparkling water.
posted by spec80 at 7:46 AM on January 9, 2013


Cookes sound delightful karma.
posted by The Whelk at 8:20 AM on January 9, 2013


would just regular old homemade cookies be ok?

That would be peachy!

I would like to reiterate for everyone coming: If you can cook great things, then cook great things; if you can cook a simple thing, then cook that simple thing; if you cannot cook at all, then bring something storebought. Don't be anxious about any lack of culinary skill, we're all just in this for a good time. From each according to their abilities!
posted by Greg Nog at 8:21 AM on January 9, 2013 [1 favorite]


SNACKS ACCORDING TO NEED

the rise of Coummin-cookie is a historical inevitability.
posted by The Whelk at 8:24 AM on January 9, 2013


Yes, we have sodas on the soda gun behind the bar, and a variety of juices for those choosing not to drink alcohol. If you want something specific or non-bar soda gun soda, feel free to bring it along.
posted by newpotato at 11:21 AM on January 9, 2013


Is there anything we can bring to lighten the load on the bar?
posted by griphus at 11:24 AM on January 9, 2013


Also can someone bring Marmite and/or Vegemite?
posted by griphus at 11:45 AM on January 9, 2013


Thanks for the answer, newpotato!
posted by spec80 at 1:26 PM on January 9, 2013


I just realized this is probably a bad idea for me, seeing as I have really early work the next morning that I thought I was able to reschedule (but couldn't :-( ).

I'm looking forward to seeing the pics/vids/recipes.
posted by mccarty.tim at 4:38 PM on January 10, 2013


Is there any way to warm up food at the bar, should I want to make, say, a pasta?
posted by mlle valentine at 7:12 PM on January 10, 2013


I'm trying to keep to campground-simple rules, myself, so as to not leave a clatter of sterno and chafing dishes around newpotato's bar, so I would advocate bringing things that will work well at room temperature. That said, I'm always happy to eat room-temp pasta!

I folded up the trigona last night, and threw 'em in the freezer, so I should be able to give them a bake and bring 'em over right easily on Sunday! They're filled with Daiya faux-cheese, spinach, caramelized onion, beef, and duck, and the pastry shell -- which is usually brushed with butter -- has instead been been brushed with a mixture of duck-fat and bacon-fat.
posted by Greg Nog at 8:17 AM on January 11, 2013


I have successfully convinced a long time lurker friend of mine to come.
posted by The Whelk at 9:12 AM on January 11, 2013


I will eat anything that moves slowly enough for me to catch it, hot or cold doesn't matter.
posted by loriginedumonde at 10:08 AM on January 11, 2013


I can most certainly make it.

Do we have a spreadsheet with foods people are bringing? I am a good/adventurous cook and would be happy to fill in any gaps (I can even do vegan or gluten free if those are lacking)
posted by larthegreat at 10:50 AM on January 11, 2013


TrishaLynn made one.
posted by griphus at 10:52 AM on January 11, 2013


and apparently I missed the spreadsheet comments. There are many vegetarian things.

There appear to be many condiments, so I'll add to Griphus's Russian things by adding Kabanos (thin smoked sausage).

Also quiche. A bacon/caramalized onion quiche. Because I only see one thing that contains bacon on this list.

(if we want, I can make the quiche crustless if anyone is gluten free?)
posted by larthegreat at 11:01 AM on January 11, 2013


Kabanos

Huh, they call those "Hunter's Sausages" at the Russian store I go to, however, the Poles call "Hunter's Sausage" looks completely different.
posted by griphus at 11:19 AM on January 11, 2013


They're like polish kielbasa, but smaller and more garlicky. The ukrainian butcher I go to calls them "beer sausage"
posted by larthegreat at 11:21 AM on January 11, 2013


I am going to pick some up as well and we can compare. Because they are delicious.
posted by griphus at 11:36 AM on January 11, 2013


SAUSAGE TASTINGS FOR ALL!
posted by larthegreat at 11:51 AM on January 11, 2013 [1 favorite]


oh wait. that may have more meanings than I am comfortable with.
posted by larthegreat at 11:52 AM on January 11, 2013 [1 favorite]


it'll be like a festival

but with sausages

what?
posted by The Whelk at 12:01 PM on January 11, 2013


Hey guys?

Bring it.
posted by newpotato at 12:14 PM on January 11, 2013 [14 favorites]


Holy shit.
posted by griphus at 12:20 PM on January 11, 2013


Oh man. My cookies are not worthy.
posted by ocherdraco at 12:59 PM on January 11, 2013


you have no idea how much I love you people right now.
posted by The Whelk at 1:00 PM on January 11, 2013


I feel like I need to step it up and bake a cake now or something.
posted by spec80 at 1:47 PM on January 11, 2013


Oh jeez no.....no pressure anybody. I think the image of the trophy is bigger than the actual trophy itself...it is much less impressive in person.
(although cake=yum)
posted by newpotato at 2:45 PM on January 11, 2013


Damn, newpotato. I'm in awe. You get the biggest cannoli.

And damn, Metafilter and Mefites, you make the internet much much cooler than it has any right to be.

Stupid internet.
posted by Skygazer at 5:56 PM on January 11, 2013


I AM SO EXCITED. Part of me wants to use pretzels and Old Bay in whatever I'm making, and part of me wants to make it taste good. If I were much more talented at cooking, maybe I could do both!
posted by ausdemfenster at 6:33 PM on January 11, 2013


Okay, last call for the spreadsheet of noms! If anyone else is bringing something, it will end up being a surprise because I'm exhausted and have to get up early tomorrow to receive a Fresh Direct delivery. And judging from the fact that we have at least 25 people signed up to bring some sort of food, a few surprises would actually make things all the better.

I also just finished making my potato/beet/apple salad (which also has cornichons and eggs in it) and that's now in the fridge for chilling. I don't think it will win that beautiful trophy that newpotato had made (when I first heard about it, I thought she was joking), but it's a fantastic pinkish/orange-y color, so I hope that's at least in the spirit of being Fieri-ist?

Can't wait to taste all the food on Sunday!
posted by TrishaLynn at 11:06 PM on January 11, 2013


I meant to note that Mac n Cheese will not be vegetarian (or dairy free), what with the uncured pancetta and cheese. I will be sure to label it.
posted by mountmccabe at 9:29 AM on January 12, 2013


I'm swinging the spreadsheet back to the land of meat eaters due to the lack of brussel sprouts at my local markets. Honey sriracha wings, y'all!
posted by loriginedumonde at 11:46 AM on January 12, 2013


WIIIIINNNNNNGSSSSS
posted by Greg Nog at 12:03 PM on January 12, 2013


I am seeing a definite lack of desserty items on this list. If I can be arsed, I'll make a batch of cookies. Otherwise, I'll pick up stuff at an Italian bakery (Rocco's on Bleecker, likely).
posted by computech_apolloniajames at 1:13 PM on January 12, 2013


I have a pasta with cheeses and other things that are not meat dish in the works so vegetarians can still get their cheesy carbo loading in.
And I just realized that my vegetarian pulled pork sliders are just by chance full on vegan.
posted by newpotato at 2:03 PM on January 12, 2013


my entire apartment smells like slow roasted honey ham
posted by The Whelk at 2:22 PM on January 12, 2013


BY THEIR SIGNS YE SHALL KNOW THEM
posted by Greg Nog at 3:31 PM on January 12, 2013 [2 favorites]


My current plan is for completely non-Fieri associated goods; we're hitting the HMart in Ft. Lee tomorrow morning and getting Korean snackies of some sort.
posted by sciencegeek at 5:52 PM on January 12, 2013


I am going to try to deep fry bacon. If a success, I will have a dish. If not, I may show up empty handed with burns and a good story.

Any ideas for a sauce?
posted by Hactar at 11:50 PM on January 12, 2013


Donkey.

Oh and I am bringing a cake.
posted by spec80 at 3:21 AM on January 13, 2013


GUYS I AM EXCITE
posted by The Whelk at 5:48 AM on January 13, 2013 [1 favorite]


Hactar, I am bringing Donkey Sauce already. (I'm roasting the garlic for it right now and MY HOUSE SMELLS ABSOLUTELY AMAZING.)

Oh, and I'd said I would bring homemade mustard - sorry, am going to have to change that to homemade relish at the last minute. Still bringing pickles - two kinds.
posted by EmpressCallipygos at 6:02 AM on January 13, 2013 [1 favorite]


EAT WHAT THY WILL SHALL BE THE WHOLE OF THE LAW 
posted by The Whelk at 6:14 AM on January 13, 2013


Mother of God, I wish I hadn't only just now discovered this page, because his description of the "Pig patty" sounds so so wrong in all the best ways:
Set a large pot of cold water over high heat and add the bacon. Bring to a medium boil and cook until the bacon is very tender and almost falling apart, 1 1/2 to 2 hours. Drain and set aside to cool.

Set a flat cast-iron grill pan over high heat. Divide the bacon into 4 even portions, form each portion into a patty and place on the grill. Press down with the foil-covered brick to squash the bacon together and into a flat patty so it crisps. Cook until golden and crispy, 3 to 4 minutes. Remove and keep warm.
That chopped-up and fried bacon patty is meant to be layered on top of the ground beef patty in a burger. And that is meant to all go with both donkey sauce and a cheese bechamel sauce.
posted by EmpressCallipygos at 7:19 AM on January 13, 2013


aw damn I'm out of my super strong Quebec lactose pills boo
posted by The Whelk at 7:55 AM on January 13, 2013


I finally figured out what to make: Chocolate chip guacome. and chips. Off to the Coop.
posted by overhauser at 8:27 AM on January 13, 2013


sooo one of side benefits of marrying someone who used to work in a soup kitchen is REALLY EFFICIENT KITCHEN SKILLS FOR LARGE SCALE COOKING, we're basically done.
posted by The Whelk at 8:41 AM on January 13, 2013


After numerous tofu-related expirements, I've admitted that fried tofu just doesn't travel or age well. I'm bringing "Peanut Butter JAM!" instead.
posted by the young rope-rider at 8:42 AM on January 13, 2013


I am greasing and honking as we speak. This jazz is going to be disgustingly awesome.
posted by mintcake! at 9:14 AM on January 13, 2013


I did all my cooking on Friday night (chilled salad, ftw) but my husband just got out of bed and I'm nagging him to get dessert going. THIS PIE AIN'T GONNA BAKE ITSELF, YOU KNOW?
posted by TrishaLynn at 9:16 AM on January 13, 2013


I'm roasting a donkey with a Zippo. I should be done soon, if stops tryin' to kick me...
posted by Skygazer at 9:33 AM on January 13, 2013


I am sick and listening to Gurrelieder and Martin Guerre and not going to make it also.
posted by mountmccabe at 9:49 AM on January 13, 2013


I feel kind of lame now, most of my work was done last summer.
posted by EmpressCallipygos at 10:09 AM on January 13, 2013


I am about to go get the last of my ingredients and it's a little thrilling how this whole day is coming together
posted by rmless at 10:20 AM on January 13, 2013


What are the odds we all give each other food poisoning and metafilter goes quiet for a week?
posted by The Whelk at 10:24 AM on January 13, 2013


SIGNS POINT TO SLAMMIN'
posted by mintcake! at 10:36 AM on January 13, 2013


There was a slight pie crust-contraction related accident, but my husband assures me that everything is fine. I also got to bite off the hunks of cooked spiced brown sugar that stuck to the spatula after he roasted the pecans in our cast iron pan. WHOA, this is gonna be a spicy pie. Can someone please grab some whipped cream on the way? We'll pay you back. He says he's calling this a Pecan Dishonor because of the mess he made in the kitchen while making it and that things turned out so unexpectedly while making it.

As for my dish (still chilling in the fridge) I think I'm going to call it Trans-Sexually Transylvanian Potato Salad because the inclusion of the beets make it "awfully Magenta."

Ba-dum TISSSHHHH!
posted by TrishaLynn at 10:55 AM on January 13, 2013


My plus one is feeling suddenly sick (oh the joys of a chronic illness: he can never tell if he's actually sick or just the usual stuff) so in the interest of not getting everyone else sick, we're staying home. This sucks. We just got home from getting, among other things, two mysterious Cheetos flavors - labels are in Korean, images on the packages are of meat BBQing and on the other some veggies. And Chester is riding a mountain bike on one of them.
posted by sciencegeek at 10:56 AM on January 13, 2013


Well I made it. And we have a sign!
posted by Karmakaze at 11:24 AM on January 13, 2013 [1 favorite]


I left Jersey empty-handed, so I'm at the Melt Shop getting some tater tots to contribute to the feast.
posted by oh yeah! at 11:56 AM on January 13, 2013


This taxi is now being propelled my by my desire for tater tots
posted by The Whelk at 12:19 PM on January 13, 2013


Stupid traffic in the way of tots
posted by The Whelk at 12:28 PM on January 13, 2013


Also in traffic

Soon
posted by the young rope-rider at 12:46 PM on January 13, 2013


There is an awesome amount of food here, if any lurkers or maybes are on the fence due to feeling bad about not having cooked, they should get down here ASAP.
posted by oh yeah! at 1:20 PM on January 13, 2013


And we have themed drinks. Here is the grey.
posted by Karmakaze at 1:28 PM on January 13, 2013


"More pictures, please,"
she said, wistfully.
posted by sciencegeek at 1:49 PM on January 13, 2013


Good to see everyone!
Thanks for making me queasy.
Please update with who won the awesome trophy!
posted by rmless at 3:21 PM on January 13, 2013


This cab driver really likes Kelly Clarkson.
posted by Potomac Avenue at 3:38 PM on January 13, 2013


It was great catching up with old friends and meeting new ones! What a great meetup! Thanks everyone!
posted by spec80 at 3:41 PM on January 13, 2013 [1 favorite]


PHOTO TIME MOTHERFREAKERS

SON OF FLAVORTOWN LIVES

GANG'S ALL HERE FOR A PARTY WITH MAGICAL RAINBOW CAKE LOOK AT THESE INTERNET PEOPLE

WE HAD THEMED COCKTAILS (and a cocktail menu that was printed IN THE STYLE OF AN FPP IT WAS BEAUTIFUL I TOOK ONE AND WILL SCAN IT IN SOON)

THE BLUE

THE GREEN

THE GREY

not pictured, the professional white background, which was a straight up shot of vodka with citrus and herbs.

and finally, confirming what we all know to be true

GREG NOG, WINNER.
posted by The Whelk at 4:35 PM on January 13, 2013 [7 favorites]


my only regret was it was too dark to film people to put together a mash up of people taking about their dishes ALL OF WHICH WHERE SO DELICIOUS THAT I AM DISGUSTINGLY FULL
posted by The Whelk at 4:38 PM on January 13, 2013 [1 favorite]


NOM NOM NOM DOT COM
posted by lalochezia at 5:28 PM on January 13, 2013


Clean shot of the menu. Thanks for letting me keep it, newpotato!
posted by griphus at 7:09 PM on January 13, 2013 [3 favorites]


Awww....you guys are great.. and you left me with a shit ton of food.. Thanks for a great evening!
posted by newpotato at 7:19 PM on January 13, 2013


Did Greg grab the Russian stuff out of the fridge? If not, surprise, you have even more food.
posted by griphus at 7:26 PM on January 13, 2013


aw crap. I have russian stuff in the fridge.


Also, eating someones cookies. Yay!
posted by newpotato at 7:28 PM on January 13, 2013 [3 favorites]


There's salmon caviar, Moscow salami, Ukranian salo with paprika, and smoked cheese (gouda, I think.) Eat it on bread with butter. It is very important you eat it with butter.
posted by griphus at 7:29 PM on January 13, 2013 [1 favorite]


After the potluck I was musing that I felt really full and tired but didn't eat thaaat much and my boyfriend pointed out that I was having true Flavortown experience. Yum. Thanks, everyone, for cooking!
posted by mlle valentine at 7:31 PM on January 13, 2013


ah, FUCK, I forgot to grab the fridge-food!

Nevertheless, all the dishes were lovely and it so wonderful to see you all! I shall treasure this gleaming trophy!
posted by Greg Nog at 7:56 PM on January 13, 2013


Thank you so much for hosting this, newpotato. So much fun. May leftover Greasy Honky Pie soothe bar hangovers for at least the next several days.
posted by mintcake! at 8:07 PM on January 13, 2013


I think overhauser -- who was going to another party afterwards -- grabbed most of the honky pie on the way out, excited about sharing it with even more people!

And yes, newpotato, thank you, again, SO MUCH. It was super nice of you to host this!
posted by Greg Nog at 8:12 PM on January 13, 2013 [1 favorite]


My fingers are sort of tingling due to all the food and drink (probably mostly the drink).

newpotato: THANK YOU!

Everyone who brought food: THANK YOU!

Everyone who chatted and laughed and drank and ate with us: I love you all.
posted by ausdemfenster at 8:38 PM on January 13, 2013


When we got home, my husband and I were so full that we immediately took a nap from which we didn't wake till four hours later. And since we're moving, we're very sorry we didn't take more food with us, but you can believe me when I say that everything I ate was so very good.

Shall we all swap recipes, now?
posted by TrishaLynn at 9:18 PM on January 13, 2013 [1 favorite]


Sand Tarts You can usually start the flour with the mixer, but eventually you will have to stir by hand or even knead a little. Chill the dough for several hours. Roll the dough very thin, cut with cookie cutters and place on a greased tin. Use a pastry brush to brush the egg white over the tops of the cookies (I told you you’d need it later - it makes the sugar stick). Decorate with sugar (or nonpareils - red hots will melt, though, so be careful). Bake in a quick oven at 400 F for about 8 minutes.
posted by Karmakaze at 8:36 AM on January 14, 2013 [1 favorite]


I'd like to request that whoever made those goat cheese/asparagus/mushroom things REVEAL THEIR SECRETS.
posted by griphus at 8:40 AM on January 14, 2013


Clean shot of the menu. Thanks for letting me keep it, newpotato!

Holy shit, that is the best thing ever.
posted by MCMikeNamara at 8:52 AM on January 14, 2013


The mystery of the missing phone is solved. I watched the cameras this morning. Some dude walked in ordered a glass of water, took the phone off the bar (it was sitting between the vegetarian spicy sesame noodles and the deep fried bacon), and left. I actually remembered him because I passed him as he was coming in and I was leaving to buy more spoons/tongs. When I got back less than five minutes later he wasn't there anymore.
I guess it's a lesson learned :(
posted by newpotato at 8:54 AM on January 14, 2013


Ahhh, that sucks.

Can we chip in to help cover a new phone?
posted by mintcake! at 9:02 AM on January 14, 2013


That is bullshit :(

And, yeah, I would be totally willing to chip in on that.
posted by griphus at 9:08 AM on January 14, 2013


Ahhg, that blows, newpotato. I would be happy to contribute to a new fone fund.
posted by computech_apolloniajames at 10:15 AM on January 14, 2013


Same here! Glad the mystery is solved but sorry that happened.

griphus: ausdemfenster made those great stuffed mushrooms!
posted by spec80 at 10:51 AM on January 14, 2013


No worries, folks. I have the insurance, and it was my own carelessness that caused it. Besides, during post party tidying I wrangled for myself a head sized brick of cheese that is worth it's weight in phone....

Thanks though, very nice for you guys to offer
posted by newpotato at 12:17 PM on January 14, 2013


That is crazy. However, I have it on good authority that that the thief was from Reddit. TIME 4 ATTACK
posted by Potomac Avenue at 4:23 PM on January 14, 2013 [1 favorite]


there is still to much ham in my house.
posted by The Whelk at 4:37 PM on January 14, 2013


that is simply a state which cannot logically exist
posted by elizardbits at 4:42 PM on January 14, 2013 [1 favorite]


I ate probably four or five pounds of ham!
posted by the young rope-rider at 4:47 PM on January 14, 2013


(that's just a guess I'm not a ham expert)
posted by the young rope-rider at 4:49 PM on January 14, 2013 [1 favorite]


Oh and this is how you make Way Too Much Ham.

Get a ham, like a good shank cut partially (not fully! Not ready to eat!) cooked smoked ham, about 9 pounds, this is going to be exensive but then you will have Way Too Much Ham. Make sure its not spiral cut ir pre cut or anything. Just a hunk of ham.

Dry it out with paper towles, you can remove the skin if you like , or separate it out to make fried ham skin chunks cause we're gross monsters like that. Slice a grid pattern into the fat of the ham, making sure you don't cut into the meat, just the fat and skin.

Prepare a glaze:

3 table spoons of butter, melted. 3 tablespoons of chopped fresh tyme ( or dried, whatever.) pich if fresh ground pepper. Combine. Put a 1/4th of a cup of cider vinegar on the stive until it reduces down a bit. Add melted butter/herb mixture. Throw in about a teaspoon of sugar and a teaspoon of Worcheshire and then like, half a cup of honey, just pour that in under low heat. Get it nice and liquid and pour a third of it over the ham. Wrap the ham up in nonstick foil and place in a roasting pan with a little bit of water in the bottom . Set the oven to 300 and let it sit for an hiur. Remove ham, rotate it in the foil, pour on another measure of the glaze, stick back in iven for another hour and half. Remove ham from foil, place in pan under the broiler, pour on last measure of glaze and turn the broiler on for five mintues. Remove ham, rewrap in foil, and let sit in still warm but off oven for another 30 min.

Bam, perfectly cuttale, not dry, flavorable ham that will take you a freaking week to eat.

And then you have ham bones for soup and stock. Ham and pea soup is classic.
posted by The Whelk at 4:55 PM on January 14, 2013 [3 favorites]


Oh i also mixed a little hazelnut oil into the glaze at the very end. So there is that.
posted by The Whelk at 4:57 PM on January 14, 2013


Whelk, I used to do an annual ham eating open house party years ago (looooooooong story) and have a couple ideas for How To Use Up Leftover Ham if you're interested.

(The first idea, which I offer to the world at large, is: jambalaya. Jambalaya is probably the first answer to many questions, though, or at least it should be.)
posted by EmpressCallipygos at 5:11 PM on January 14, 2013


Go ahead, i was just planning on making quiche

Forever.
posted by The Whelk at 5:26 PM on January 14, 2013


Throw jambalaya into the using-up-ham mix, as well as Denver omelettes, fried rice, baked eggs (the recipe: saute up some mushrooms or spinach or both, then butter a ramekin for each person and put in a layer of vegetable; then some chopped-up cooked ham, then crack an egg on top of that, drizzle some cream directly over the egg and sprinkle on some parmaesan or cheddar cheese; then put all the ramekins in a baking dish and pour enough water into the dish to come halfway up the ramekins, and bake the whole thing at 400 for about 10-15 minutes or until eggs are set).

I actually tend to use any leftover meat up in all sorts of random things, and while I haven't actually tried ham in mac-and-cheese, I'd certainly give it a shot.
posted by EmpressCallipygos at 5:57 PM on January 14, 2013 [1 favorite]


Here's the recipe for the goat cheese/artichoke/spinach/garlic/shallot/parmesan stuffed mushrooms:

1) Preheat the oven to 375!
2) Mince 2 medium shallots and 5 cloves of garlic; sautee them in 2 tablespoons of olive oil over medium heat for six or seven minutes or until they're translucent and perfect-smelling.
3) While the shallot/garlic mess cooling in a bowl, chiffonade some spinach (2 or 3 handfuls) and mince 2 cans of artichoke hearts and bottoms.
4) Combine the shallots, garlic, spinach, and artichokes in a bowl with the zest and juice of a lemon, 1/2 cup breadcrumbs, 6 ounces of goat cheese, and 1/3 cup grated parmesan. Add salt and pepper to taste. This should yield enough stuffing for maybe 30 to 40 mushrooms, depending on how big they are.
5) Stuff mushroom caps with the mixture from the bowl, then roll the mushroom in additional grated parmesan to form a cheesy top before cooking. Line the mushrooms up on baking sheets and admire your army. Drizzle a little olive oil over the whole mess before sticking it in the oven.
6) Cook for 10 minutes.
7) Burn your mouth all to hell because you have no self-control and 40 mushrooms full of delicious.
posted by ausdemfenster at 6:33 PM on January 14, 2013 [4 favorites]


Newpotato, that sucks, and thank you so much for hosting and thank you everyone for encouraging my gluttony and run on sentence.
posted by loriginedumonde at 7:40 PM on January 14, 2013


It was really nice to meet you all. Thank you so much newpotato for hosting us!
posted by springload at 9:15 PM on January 14, 2013


Newpotato you're the bee's knees of graciousness, and I wish there was some way to make this sad iPhone episode better, as it's pretty unfair it should've been your phone of all people, cos like heck, I'm totally sick of my Android phone, the dude should've just take that instead. (No, Android phone jokes people, thx).

Yeah, I guess not much else to do, but come to your bar soon and drink. A LOT. A LOT LOT.

Congrats, Greg Nog, for fully Fieri-ing it up, and thanks, everyone else I got a chance to chat with (you know who you are) for the swell time, and the good food, let's do another event real soon.
posted by Skygazer at 4:55 AM on January 15, 2013


there is still to much ham in my house.
posted by The Whelk at 7:37 PM on January 14

that is simply a state which cannot logically exist
posted by elizardbits at 7:42 PM on January 14



lolz
posted by Skygazer at 5:01 AM on January 15, 2013


Oh! Another idea for using up ham!

Make your own Deviled Ham type of spread by throwing some of that ham, different spices and flavorings of your choice, and just enough butter/mayo/whatever spread into a food processor and processing the hell out of it until it is spreadable consistency.

You may have enough ham to do a whole series of recipe testings here by making different batches.
posted by EmpressCallipygos at 7:24 AM on January 15, 2013


Oh, so, recipe-wise: the trigona weren't really made by recipe so much as a drunk assembling of stuff I had around my fridge. The inside was just bits of leftover shredded duck and roast beef, plus caramelized onions, and spinach, and Daiya cheese. Bits of that filling were then wrapped in phyllo dough that had been brushed with bacon and duck fat.

The chipotle dipping-sauce was more or less this recipe, minus the chives, and replacing the teaspoon of chipotle powder with a tablespoon of canned chipotle peppers.

For the tempeh sliders:

The base was white bread and american cheese, grilled open-face in the oven (spray a sheet of aluminum foil with butter-flavored cooking spray, put the bread on the foil, put a slice of cheese on the bread, bake at like 375 until the cheese looks melty).

On top of that base was this recipe for tempeh wingz (which I only make vegetarian, not vegan, by subbing butter for margarine and honey for agave and an egg/milk wash for soymilk). I also fry the "wingz" instead of baking them, and I add a bit of garlic powder to the buffalo sauce.

And on top of the saucy tempeh was the blue-sabi coleslaw, which was basically this recipe, minus the celery salt and parsley, plus a couple tablespoons of wasabi powder.
posted by Greg Nog at 9:19 AM on January 15, 2013 [1 favorite]


Oh shit. I missed this. Because I am a stupid. Gah. Sorry to have missed you all. Next time I'll be... less stupid.
posted by davidjmcgee at 11:57 AM on January 15, 2013


We need to do this again, next time with more freeloaders!
posted by Karmakaze at 12:39 PM on January 15, 2013


MEFI
NEEDS
MOOCHERS
posted by The Whelk at 12:45 PM on January 15, 2013


REPORTING FOR DUTY
posted by davidjmcgee at 1:13 PM on January 15, 2013


Could we get a recipe for the pasta salad with mushrooms and cheese and endives? it was in the long oval dish and it was magnificent.

I probably ate 1/3 of it
posted by larthegreat at 3:17 PM on January 15, 2013 [2 favorites]


I would also love that recipe!
posted by ocherdraco at 7:38 PM on January 15, 2013


Sure thing. Here's the link:
I play with the recipe a lot, sometimes substituting spinach for part or all of the radiccio, switching up the cheeses, adding more shiitakes, use less butter, etc.

Here's the actual recipe for non-linkers

Conchiglie al Forno with Mushrooms and Radicchio

6 ounces shiitake mushrooms, cleaned and trimmed
8 tablespoons (1 stick) unsalted butter
1 teaspoon kosher salt
2 cups (2 medium heads) finely shredded radicchio
2 1/2 cups heavy cream
1/2 cup freshly grated Parmigiano-Reggiano (1 1/2 ounces)
1/2 cup coarsely shredded fontina (1 1/2 ounces)
1/2 cup crumbled Gorgonzola (3 ounces)
2 teaspoons ricotta
6 leaves fresh sage, chopped (see note)
1 pound imported conchiglie rigate (pasta shells)

Directions
Preheat the oven to 500 degrees F.

Bring 5 quarts of salted water to a boil in a stockpot.

Remove the stems from the mushrooms and reserve for another use. Slice the mushroom caps about 1/4-inch thick. Heat 6 tablespoons of butter in a large skillet; add the mushrooms and 1/4 teaspoon salt. Saute over medium heat, stirring frequently, until they are cooked through, 3 to 5 minutes.

In a large mixing bowl, combine the mushrooms, radicchio, cream, cheeses, sage, and remaining salt.

Parboil the pasta shells for 4-9 minutes; drain and add to the ingredients in the mixing bowl. Toss to combine.

Divide the pasta mixture among 6 to 8 individual, shallow, ceramic gratin dishes (1 1/2 to 2 cup capacity). Dot with the remaining 2 tablespoons of butter and bake until bubbly and brown on top, about 7 to 10 minutes.

Note: In the absence of fresh sage, do not substitute dried. As a substitute, choose one of the following: 1 tablespoon coarsely chopped fresh tarragon OR 1 teaspoon fresh thyme leaves OR 8 leaves fresh rosemary OR 1/4 teaspoon fennel seed
posted by newpotato at 10:59 AM on January 16, 2013 [5 favorites]


Now I am really sad I was sick on Sunday.

10 minutes ago we finished a batch of the 'Cetta Cheddar Mac, Y'all that I was going to bring to the meet-up. About 5 minutes ago it was gone and even the serving implements had been licked clean. I would love to bring this to a future potluck!


Also even though I didn't make it this has been a great thread to read; thanks for all the recaps and photos and recipes!
posted by mountmccabe at 5:40 PM on January 17, 2013



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